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7/10
The Best Biker Flick
10 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I removed my first review and am "updating". I kind of gave it a scathing review first time. I just bought another $150's worth of "cheap biker movies" from White Horse Gear and this was one of them. It's the best "cheap biker movie" you can get and worth it. Real bikers instead of tattoo-free clean-cut actors. Tramp does an excellent job. Very nicely done. All he had to do was be himself! Keep your eye on "Tiny". Later in the movie, you can tell he's very drunk (no drinking on the set, Tiny!) He wobbles and staggers about but then again, just being himself. One scene, Sonny tries to start his chopper and kicks it while it's in gear. Good thing it didn't start! "Slatejer" said it was funny watching Angels on "tiny Japanese bikes" but there was only one in the desert scenes. Conny Van Dyke's character was on a Hodaka. The rest were vintage European and English bikes. Sonny's dirt bike was a huge Triumph (good choice, Mr. Barger!) You need this movie! It is kind of sad seeing the Angels in this movie who are not with us anymore.
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Return of the Rebels (1981 TV Movie)
7/10
Mild Mannered Bros.
10 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I was very disappointed...at first. I'm the guy who collects "cheap biker movies". I just received this along with a dozen others I ordered from White Horse Gear (good place to find rare biker flicks) I assumed that there were 1% outlaw-type bikers in the lead terrorizing Barbara Eden's character. No. It was a bunch of obviously spoiled brats with expensive toys. The "bikers" were older, kind of rickety men. Patrick Swayze didn't come across as very intimidating as a terrorizing character but everyone needs work and he took the role. Kevin Bacon would have worked out better. As the movie progressed, it came about nicely. The first 1/2 hour or so is tedious but just wait. It gets better. This is a good movie to share with young kids, it's that tame. Of course Barbara Eden makes the movie. She still was looking good back in 1981. A bit more junk in the trunk but she wears it well. I wouldn't recommend this movie to "cheap biker movie" collectors but it is different. It's a "made for television" movie with cuts intended for commercial inserts. I'd recommend it.
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The Devil's Ride (2012– )
1/10
Sons of Laffery
4 March 2013
I watched about 5 minutes of it and had to go puke. I googled"Laffing Devils" and there's no such club. There is a "Brotherhood" M/C (est. 1972) but I dunno about this show. It's just another staged/fake/scripted piece of crap like Wicked Tuna, Redneck Gator-Humpers, Hard-Core Spawn etc. etc. etc. People actually believe all this crap is real. Back to Devils Ride. What I saw was a 1%'r sitting down with 3 one percenters from another club on a sidewalk cafe table. As they're "chatting", each "Bro" has a camera in his face meaning 4 cameras would be required. Then a shot from across the street reveals NO cameras at or around the table. That means the show is scripted, the "Bros have to rehearse and memorize their lines. No 1% club is not going to do this kind of B.S. The cameras would be shoved...well, you know.Besides, you have to be a member of the Screen Actors Guild to even have more than seven words of dialogue. No 1%'r is joining the Guild, trust me. "One Percent" my butt. The only thing 1% about it is the idiots who watch it. That's their I.Q. "1%" Pretty sad state when Outlaw 1% clubs have to be made up and viewers are convinced this crap is real.
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1/10
Smokey and the Band-Aid
3 March 2013
Where to begin? I have yet to be able to watch this bomb for more than 15 minutes. What was "The Great One" (Gleason) thinking? I just don't get it. I know he loved to drink and he would have had to have been bombed to DO this bomb.

This was probably made during the peak of cocaine abuse in Hollywood. The drug obviously affected the judgment of all involved except Gleason who was just doing it for the easy money. He even admitted it. Anyway, if you thought Smokey II was bad, this somehow is worse. Even if you are a fan of bad movies, this isn't worth the time. It's not "bad". It's "useless"!
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Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 Women (1994 TV Movie)
10/10
Top Notch Comedy
5 October 2012
It seems poor Bobo Fett1138 doesn't understand what "Comedy" is about. This double feature is priceless. What's not to like abut this movie? You have two tragic events made fun of to the point of comedic insanity. Sure, Nancy K. was "America's Sweetheart" and got smacked in the knee. Then we found out what she was really like. Stomping off the ice when she didn't win gold and losing her soup sponsorship for acting that way. She deserved being laughed at in this movie. And Lorena "Bobbed-it". Another tragedy. Poor guy gets his...well, you know, snipped off. And get's it back! Nothing too bad about that in the end. Let's have fun with it! That's what this movie, and all comedy's are about: Having fun. We all, with the exception of one wet blanket, loved it! Highly recommended.
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3/10
Nyuk, nyuk...nyot!
23 July 2012
I see nothing but rave reviews. I have to disagree and put in my 2 cents "woith". I waited for the DVD to come out. Finally. First thing I notice is the price. Cheap. About 7 bucks less than any other new release.

Uh-oh...Well, being I'm a hard-core Stooge fan, I had to have it. Watching it that night, I couldn't believe it. It was slow and had very few slapstick skits...you know...violence! Sure, the lobster down the pants made me smile, but I bought this to laugh, not smile. It got to the point I was wishing it ended, when watching the original Stooges,I am bummed when they ended. The only reason to buy this DVD is to keep your Stooge collection updated. I'll probably never watch it again. I don't know exactly what it was that turned me off...poor copy-cat plot, rotten script or what. Save your dough and buy the DVD's of the original Stooge shorts. They just need to try again...after asking Stooge fans what they didn't like about the movie.
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The Grey (2011)
1/10
Just don't
19 May 2012
My wife kept seeing the previews on T.V. and insisted on seeing it. To keep it simple, it's a horrible movie. Just no explanations of why these guys did what they did. Example: They leave the safety of the crash and wreckage that provided plenty of shelter and headed into the woods knowing the wolves are in there. Sure, make firewood runs into the woods during the day, but...weird. NEVER leave the crash site. It's common sense. The ending is the worst ending since the ending in Dutch Treat. The wolf is about to have it out with the lone survivor and it ends. The credits roll. Everyone in the theater leaves. AFTER the credits, the grand finally of the wolf/man fight! How were we to know? I just heard that's how it ends but I ain't wasting more money just to see the very end. Why after the movie "ends" and credits roll? Who's idea was that? Folks, trust me. Een with that, the movie sucked...BAD!
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5/10
Dune buggied rednecks
4 March 2012
Jack said the rednecks are on "Go-Carts". I own the movie and watch it every few years or so. They are driving dune buggies. A far cry from go carts. I think the movie is great! Very unrealistic which helps make it great. I collect cheap biker movies and this well qualifies. Unrealistic is letting a fellow club member leave so he can get his head together. You gotta have a better reason for leaving any outlaw club. Usually it's prison or death. Just taking off don't cut it. Having a tripping Indian with trippy cookies is a first. Usually outlaws will do some things for cash. These "Bros" go for "cookies"! God bless 'em! Next they will be killing for apple pie. Yes, you could find better things to do with your time than watching this. Usually crushing your fingers in a vise or sticking your face in a fan is more entertaining. If you love cheap biker movies (and vintage dune buggies) you will LOVE this pile.
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10/10
To the Doubters...
29 January 2012
I see some of the reviewers have no clue. The ones that give a 9 or 10 rating are probably Vets. The 1 raters are your non-vets. First off, keep in mind, this (Deer Hunter) is fiction. Not based on any events other than a war and a steel mill. One rater says how they just suddenly were in Viet Nam. No basic or anything. How long would you want the movie to be?! All 3 going to the same place? It's called "The Buddy System". You could request to stay together. The brass didn't care as long as they had warm bodies. One rater with his "Hmmmmm..." He needs to do some research. How do you people know what went on over there? Russian Roulette? All kinds of "stuff" went on. Mostly torture and starvation. No medical help (ask John McCain). You doubters need to understand: Viet Nam was not a ten year long "Rambo" movie. They didn't fire 600 continuous rounds from a single magazine. One guy wonders why they went from the U.S. to combat/P.O.W. camp within a minute or so. Ever watch "Pappion"? Steve McQueen does 5 years in solitary in about 15 seconds. It's only a movie, guys! To all you Vets out there who read the drivel from the Rambo-loving non-vets, I apologize. They don't have a clue. Maybe they should join the Military and get some education on what really happens in the Military. The Deer Hunter is a great movie. I did wonder how glaciers got in Pennsylvania, but they were there once about 20,000 years ago, so "what the hey?" DBF 3/67 A.D.A. 3rd. Inf. Div.
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Hell Ride (2008)
1/10
I don't get it.
13 January 2012
One of my hobbies is collecting "Cheap Biker Movies". I saw this D.V.D. for sale (used) at this sandwich shop. While waiting for my food, I scanned it. The illustration on the box gave it a "Cheap Biker Movie" look, so I said to myself: "Self: You need this movie." They wanted $5 for it. I tried to haggle. The gal says: "But it stars (wrong!) Quentin Tarantino." I said: "Never heard of him." I never have! Well, I watched it. I tried to figure it out. The plot was in there somewhere. Something about a box of treasure. The flashbacks were not needed as far as I could tell. Just added to the confusion. I just don't know. I was expecting a "Cheap Biker Movie" and all I got was 80 minutes of boobs, butts, lousy acting, elementary school hard-guy dialog and a confusing plot. I would have liked to have seen what was in the safe deposit box at the end (how did they get that box out of the bank?) The reaction was what appeared to be an empty box. Empty box, empty plot, empty acting. Okay, NOW I get it! Watch "Satan's Sadists" for what a "Cheap Biker Movie" really is about. At least it has a (weak) plot. This was rambling garbage. The fact that it was released on D.V.D. before it hit any theater says how bad it is. The fact that it earned a hundred grand or so really says how bad it is. Anyone giving this more than 2 stars hasn't a clue. The people who gave it 9 and 10 stars are really lost. This movie was as bad as the sandwich. I'll never do both again. Be warned.
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1/10
Not worth reviewing
1 January 2012
I said "Not worth reviewing" for a reason. The reason is: I couldn't think of anything of value to say, be it good or bad. My mind was blank as I sat here. I was trying to think, but nothing happened (Thanks, Curley) What possessed anyone to (re)make a movie of this caliber? "Caliber" as in Smokey and the Bandit being a 10 gage shotgun and this farce being a bb gun. What were they thinking? We expected to see the clam chowder run and got a knocked-up elephant. Grim acting, weak plot line, painful jokes all added up to this movie. When I'm channel-surfing and I see "Smokey and the Bandit" on, I always (to the annoyance of my wife) stop and watch it. When SatBII is on, I watch it out of curiosity. Curious as in watching old dried paint peeling off a wall.(did the writers eat paint chips as children?) As far as a chase movie centered around the health and well being of an elephant...save it. Next time call a Vet!
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9/10
Good one
1 January 2012
The critics of this movie have a couple things in common. One: They are non-Vets. Two: If it does not have a love scene w/half naked women, or someone shooting 60 rounds out of a 12 round magazine, it ain't no good. It's been 36 years since I was in the U.S. Army. I doubt if it has changed much. These critics have to realize that in war, there is no Chuck Norris-type running around piling up bodies for a 1 year tour. I'm no combat vet, but I estimate in a combat (war) a 1 year tour would consist of maybe a few days or so of actual combat (under fire). Contact w/the enemy is not 24/7, kids. Only in the Norris/Stallone-type movies. This movie, in my opinion, was probably as real as it can get. The soldier who went off base would only be A.W.O.L. if his commanding officer filed charges. It's not automatic. The best thing these critics can do is educate themselves. That can only happen if they serve. My advise is go to your nearest recruiter and join. No use in sitting here at your computer and typing in a bunch of anti-American drivel. Iraq, like Viet Nam does not/did not have the enemy running around with "enemy" painted on their foreheads. The enemy can be male or female, from 8 to 80 years old. Go Army! David F. 52B20 14th. Aviation Bttn. and 3/67th. Air Defense Artillery. 1973 to 1976.
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10/10
A Classic
6 December 2011
My late Father's favorite movie. Between him and my Brother, they have 50 years of Navy behind them. Neither one ever set foot on a bucket, though. They were both Navy Aviation. A movie like this is timeless. James Cagney plays such a convincing idiotic officer. I was Army Aviation and Air Defense Artillary for 3 years and I have seen my share of moronic officers. Anyone who hasn't seen it is missing out. The ending was about the last thing you would expect. I have seen the movie quite a few times over the years, going back to the early '60's and saw it again last night after a few year lull. Martin Milner as the VERY southern Shore Patrol Officer was great! I would have never guessed it was him until I saw the credits. "Festus" from Gunsmoke is also in it, though you can't recognize him. No one should miss this one.
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Rescue Dawn (2006)
Not too bad
2 October 2011
First, to ccthemovieman-1: What you think you know and what you have heard or even read about P.O.W.'s is not going to be accurate. If this movie were to be 100% accurate, it probably would have to have been rated X due to the violence/torture. No movie will ever show what our men really went through. Try to picture an accurate movie made about Laura Hillenbrand's book "UNBROKEN". It's a factual account about Louis Zamperini at the hands of brutal and sadistic Japanese captors during WWII. (punched hard in the face hundreds of times in ONE DAY; hit in the head by a heavy belt buckle swung on a belt by "The Bird" dozens of times...) No, movieman, this movie is not an actual reenactment. I saw no torture at all in this movie. The men huddling together talking almost constantly? Walking freely about the camp? Not how it went down in P.O.W. camps. Some of the men would go YEARS between seeing/talking to each other. I have the book, but it's been a while since I read it. The movie? Keep in mind, this is Hollywood, which is not known to be accurate. Not many ex-P.O.W's will even talk about what happened, so most of you Pogues just go by what Rambo and Chuck Norris do in the movie(s). P.O.W. camps anywhere (except U.S. run ones) were very brutal. Most men died from sickness and starvation. Movieman, take it easy on this movie. It's just Hollywood. You will never know what happened to our men/Allies unless you read "Unbroken". A must read. It was kinda strange seeing Charlie Manson in a P.O.W. camp, though.
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Helter Skelter (2004 TV Movie)
Not the best, but...
14 July 2011
I am about to watch it again, for the third time. Just finished Paul Watkin's "My Life With Charles Manson" book for the third or fourth time. I have a few books on the "subject". My brother and I "met" Charlie just about the time of the murder(s). We were poking around his abandonded heap of stolen V.W. bodies at Spahn when he ran at us, gun in hand, spewing obscenities I had never heard before. ("love" was not among them). He was mad at us 'cause we were going to steal parts from the cars he stole! I think it was after the murders but before the raid on Spahns. I lived over the hills in Thousand Oaks. At any rate, the movie is lame. What irritated me the most was Charlie's dialog was in a whisper. He just whispered. Weird. Oh, sure, when he was yelling he was just upset over something major, like somebody asking him a question he couldn't answer. I'd be "mad" too! If you are a Manson collector (not a fan) you need this movie. Summary: Charlie knew not a thing about love. He grew up (until his release in '67) in prison and love was not there. He learned from the best how to con people, assume roles and intimidate. There was/is nothing good about the "scruffy little guru". Until he tells why (the real motive) these senseless killings occurred and apologizes, he is nothing. "Jesus"? Hmmm. "The Devil"? He isn't even good at that.Some "expert" claim he is very intelligent. How? Couldn't hold a job, a terribly stupid thief, no ear for music, yet, continued on trying to be a rock star. His only fans/followers are probably a bunch of Goth-Dressing spoiled kids that probably still live in their parent's basement anyway. internationaldave@gmail.com
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Pawn Stars (2009– )
10/10
"Rip-offs"?
21 April 2010
No, these men are not trying to "rip off" anybody. Having a pro come in and give a value is not a "rip off". They have to (I would think) pay the people that come in to evaluate an item. No one is forcing these sellers to go through with any deal. The Pawn Stars are there to make a profit/living. They are not going to pay $100 for an item valued at $100. Get it? Next time you watch the show, pay attention. They state over and over that they can't make a profit by paying what the item is valued at. They have to store it, clean it, move it, tag it etc. all involving labor. Labor is not free. I am a mechanic and I don't give MY labor away. You Pawn Star haters, get a life. 8/11: Update: The show is staged, also. Not quite real. Of course it is better than that Hard Core Pawn junk. THAT show is 100% fake. Every customer is a screaming, raving maniac? Not likely. I tried watching that one a few times, but, the staged bickering between family members got old quick. Pawn Stars is a pleasure to watch. Hard Core is an insult to my inellagance...intellerjents...intel...SMARTS!
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Black Angels (1970)
1/10
Ouch!
9 March 2010
I say "Ouch!" 'cause this one is painful to watch. My video has major problems...The sound comes and goes and the picture is grainy and streaked. Probably the best thing about this movie! WOW! Remember the little boy who rides his bike with no hands? I think HE wrote, produced and directed this one. Plot? Can't find it. Acting? Where? I like the (little) comedy in it, such as the nun who M.F's the biker. The drunk was kinda cool, too. I couldn't watch this one all the way through. Got at about one hour and eight minutes into it. I had found something better to do that was less painful. I had to go out in the garage and crush my hand in my bench vise. I collect "cheap biker movies" and this one is the worst/best. "Chopper Chicks From Zombie Town" was the worst until I saw this one. CCFZT took me a few years to watch it. I got about 1/2 way through and couldn't take it anymore. Broke it out a few years later and finished it. I'll probably not finish "Black Angels". That's how good it is.
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Eat My Dust (1976)
10/10
A good one
12 February 2010
Filmed in and around Piru, California. Every time I watch it, I tell my wife, "Look! There's the Fillmore bridge!" (the long bridge) Or, "I've been down that road" etc. Nice to see all my old stomping grounds. I'm from Thousand Oaks, so Piru is pretty close. At any rate, anyone catch the blooper where Ron Howard is in the barn with the car? He drives out the back wall, but before he reaches it, the made-to-breakaway wall falls before he touches it. It is a nice, clean movie and enjoyable to watch time and time again. Worth watching, folks. An early car chase and wreck 'em up movie. A ground breaker. Some of it even appears to have been filmed in or around Thousand Oaks.
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Cheesy
2 February 2010
I collect "cheap biker movies" and this qualifies. There is a lot to be said, but, most others out there covered it all. I thought I would throw in a few (of many) bloopers. When Romko's hands are in the vise, they are obviously loose (not being crunched). Check out how many times the cast accidentally bump the vise handle and spin it. If the vise was under tension, the handle would be tight. Another blooper was when a biker hops on his bike that is backed to the curb. Watch the exhaust pipes. Before he even "Kicks it over" there is a very obvious belching of smoke, indicating the bike was running at idle before he even got on it.(not to mention in need of valve guide work). Comical stuff. Thats why I love these cheap biker movies. Notice the sky high exhaust pipes on one bike? Cool. The leaders of most real outlaw biker clubs (not gangs) ride a Harley Sportster (for quicker handling and speed while being pursued by the law) not any English bike(s) like "Keeg" (what's a Keeg?) The purple Triumph of "Keeg" is cool, but not authentic. Outlaw clubs rode Harleys, not Limeys. It is just that cheap biker movies can't afford an all Harley cast, I guess. All in all, one great "Cheap Biker Movie". VERY racy for it's time. These movies were meant to terrify the viewers. Maybe at the time, but comical, now.
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On Any Sunday (1971)
10/10
Good Movie
27 January 2010
This is one good movie. Any motorcyclist who does not own this movie and watched it at least 5 times, is just a wannabe motorcyclist. I grew up in Thousand Oaks, California at the perfect time for dirt-biking. (57 to '73) The open fields (all gone, now) were a flurry of everything from Taco mini bikes to Honda 305 Scramblers. My neighbor Ron had a B.S.A. Gold Star (500). THAT was the king dirt bike. Open megaphone. WOW! All those good days of running from the Ventura County Sheriffs who rode Yamaha 360 Enduros are long gone. My best friend and I even got away from one riding double on his Taco 99. We out-hill climbed him. At any rate, get this movie. Don't worry about On Any Sunday II. It just doesn't have the soul as the first one. I own it and have only watched it twice. It IS worth owning, but pales in comparison to the original.
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I don't get it
22 January 2010
I don't get it. All these rave reviews for this rambling flop? Supposed to be about a serial killer? Who? The "radio lady"? Brad Dorif? Who is it? Who is doing the killing? What's the deal with the giant pruning shears? When the nut-case nurse attacks Linderman's daughter, did she die? Get hurt? Why didn't Linderman shoot her while she was attacking? WHO WAS THE KILLER? The nut-case shrink who has to read his lines from papers in his desk drawer? Was that intentional to show his cheat sheet? What was the point of him having to read his lines? Bad actor? Why does Father Karras' character jump back and forth? How come Linderman got away with murder at the end? How did his limbs get re-attached? Too many unanswered questions. The only thing that kept me watching it was the award winning George Scott. Man, he must have been hard up for bucks to partake in this jumbo flop. Plot? Where? It seemed to jump around all over the place with no connection. Scary? Not to me. More comical than anything. Folks, if you are looking for something as riveting and scary as the original, go elsewhere. This movie is a waste of time. Look for a Gilligans Island marathon and watch that. You will thank me later. Like I said, I don't get it. What's up? Excorcist II was bad enough. Why couldn't they have done any better? All on a bad acid trip while making it..? Anybody who raves this movie, for God's sake, stay out of Hollywood!
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Cop Rock (1990)
1/10
Cop Rock...Dunno...
22 December 2009
I didn't read all the reviews, here, but the ones I did read seem to praise this flop. I like the cop-type reality programs, but this one sucked!!! W.T.F? It was like when I saw "Evita", "The most talked about movie of the year!" Now, in "Evita" they start out singing. I'm sitting there going..."this movie should be okay once they stop singing." They never stopped! 3 hours of this drivel! Why weren't we warned it had dialect that was sung? Same with Cop Rock. I just didn't get it. Maybe it would have been enjoyable had they maced some dude in the face, then clubbed him in the jewels and the suspect were to sing, "...by golly, that smarts..." or something. I seriously almost got sick watching this garbage. Anyone who thought it was a good show should have their head examined. Absolute junk! Thirty minutes of my life I'll never get back.
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Real!
22 December 2009
What a good show! Want a bad "cop" type show? Read my pan of "Cop Rock". I'm about the only one who hated it. I compared it to "Evita". R.S.H.P was a winner. They need to bring it back. My favorite episode featured the inbred red necks who are partying with a live "Band" (who sounded like a cat stuck in a room full of rocking chairs). A few of the unibrow partiers power-brake a pickup truck on a wooden bridge on the property raising a cloud of white tire smoke. Mom calls the law. They show up and she explains what happened, and I quote, "They was spinnin' on the bridge, and set it afire!". Something about her accent and the way she said it just cracked me up! Wish someone had a copy of that one!
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One of the best...
24 November 2009
I say "One of the Best" because I collect "Cheap Biker Movies" and this IS one of the best. The cheaper (as in low budget, minimal plot, horrible acting, etc.) the better. I realize most accidents in the home happen in the bathroom,so take note of the medicine cabinet scene in the diner's restroom. Did you know you can DIE if someone opens a medicine cabinet door in your face? It was a very graphic and horrible scene (notice any tongue-in-cheek, here?) I felt sorry for the Bro who died a terrible and bloody death. Also, these "Bros" can really handle a "Hog" off road. Realistic? Wow! Honestly, this movie keeps me on the edge of my seat every time I break it out and watch it. I have to be on the edge of my seat 'cause my head is in a bucket! Highly recommended movie to watch if you love the best of the worst.
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Then Came Bronson (1969–1970)
5/10
Where is he when we need him?
23 October 2009
I remember the movie/show somewhat. I was/am into motorcycles since 7th. grade. 1968. (thanks, Craig Alden!) Even owned a '72 Sporster in the '80's, among other bikes. The show seemed a bit tacky. How can Bronson on a stock Sporster with street tires win a (dirt) hill-climb that hill-climbing bikes can't win? How did his Sporster start first kick, every kick? Watch carefully...he hits the starter button the same time he kicks. My brother owned a couple Sporsters. One was a '68 with a magneto (notorious for weak spark at kick-over speeds). When I first rode it, he told me that if it didn't start on the first kick, do not continue. Wait a while and try again. Well, I didn't. Seems to draw a crowd when you are kicking for 30 minutes. That's why Jim Bronson hit his starter button while he kicked. Can't wast a half hour kicking a bike on a television show or movie. At any rate, we need an updated version of this television show. Maybe starring the Orange County Chopper boys. How about Jesse James from West Coast Choppers? The best choice would be the soft-spoken ex-mailman turned Harley customizer Arlen Ness! Just a few thoughts...
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