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Sister Act (1992)
9/10
One of my favorites
30 March 2020
This is one of my go to movies when I'm feeling down. I remember seeing it in theaters when I was a kid and I just couldn't stop laughing. The movie isn't fantastically directed but Whoopi Goldberg owns the show with a fabulous cast of supporting players which include a hilarious Kathy Najimy (Hocus Pocus), an amazing Maggie Smith (Dowton Abbey), Wendy Makkena, Mary Wickes and a slimy but sexy Harvey Keitel (Bad Lieutenant). Goldberg starts off the film as a headliner of a 60s style girl group at a casino. She's secretly dating the casinos mob boss and she accidentally witnesses a murder. Suddenly shes on the run and than is put into a nunnery to keep her hidden until her court date. It's a bunch of fun mishaps that leads her to the choir and some truly outrageous musical numbers. It may be familiar but it's fun and heartwarming. One of my all time favorites.

Budget: $31m Domestic Box Office: $140m Worldwide Box Office: $232m

4.5/5
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5/10
Meh
30 March 2020
Russell Mulcahy (Resident Evil Extinction) of the criminally underrated Razorback wrote and directed this big dud. Packed with alot of silly late 90s CGI. Basically it's a simple setup as an Ancient Egyptian Princes tomb is opened and his curse begins. Most of which involves him flying around as goofy mummy wraps attacking people. It's a very dumb movie but it's somewhat fun and funny in an unintentional way. In the end it's not really worth your time but if you must you should at least know what you're in for. Jason Scott Lee (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Lysette Anthony (Krull), Sean Pertwee (Event Horizon), Jack Davenport (Pirates of the Caribbean), Michael Lerner (Elf), Christopher Lee (Howling II), Shelley Duvall (Shining) and Gerard Butler (Dracula 2000/300) star.

Budget: $8m

2.5/5
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Someone's Watching Me! (1978 TV Movie)
7/10
Written and Directed solidly by John Carpenter with solid performances
29 March 2020
I have to say I really enjoyed this criminally underseen John Carpenter (Halloween '78') gem. Made the same year Halloween exploded at the box office this TV movie featured the gorgeous and charasmatic Lauren Hutton as a single young woman who gets a new job and place in the big bad city. Unfortunately for her someone has noticed. He begins to stalk her by calling her frequently in very creepy ways and than things start to become physical. It's easy to write it off as just a generic thriller but there's alot too love here. First of all the screenplay which is also by John Carpenter is really fantastic. It's an almost perfect reflection of the time and the harassment women had to endure. It's also very smart in it's depiction of the war of the sexes and the independent woman of the 70s. Also impressive is the way the awesome Adreienne Barbeau's character is written. It's often referenced as a solid and positive portrayal of an lgbtq character and considering the time in which it was released it deserves extra props. The dialogue is funny and relatable. You care about these characters and they're easy to root for because they're genuinely likable. As for the thriller stuff it's effective but a little bland especially by today's standards. That being said it's still a competent, well made film with great performances and it's really well made by a guy who was just about to be mega famous.

3.5/5
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8/10
The Mad Max chapter of the RE franchise
28 March 2020
Directed by Russell Mulcahy of the criminally underseen awesome creature feature Razorback. I've always really loved this chapter. Maybe its because it has that epic Mad Max feel mixed with the telekinesis of Friday the 13th 7 and although it can be a little silly it takes the franchises back to it's scarier roots with homages to the birds and day of the dead. This time around Alice is still on the run from the Umbrella corporation and the world has become a desert wasteland. She stumbles upon some old friends and some newbies like a teen girl named Kmart, the singer Ashanti playing a nurse and a bad ass Ali Larter as Claire Redfield from the games. This one is the goriest of the first three and features some great old fashioned practical effects. The movie is fun, scary and action packed leading up to a bad ass finale and one hell of a cliffhanger.

Budget: $45m Domestic Box Office: $51m Worldwide Box Office: $148m

4/5
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7/10
An action packed guilty pleasure
26 March 2020
This is truly a guilty pleasure. Whereas the original was an actual good movie, well to me anyways. This is pure trash but it's so enjoyable. Milla Jovovich (Fifth Element) is back in mega kick ass mode along with Sienna Guilroy (Love, Actually), sexy Mike Epps (Hangover), Oded Fehr (The Mummy) and gorgeous Zack Ward (Freddy vs. Jason) amongst others. Picking up right after the events of the previous film Alice awakens in a distressed Racoon City overrunning with all forms of the undead. Slowly she builds up her powers leading up to a battle with Nemesis a.k.a. Matt (Eric Mabius- Welcome to the Dollhouse) and a killer finale. The movie is fun and funny thanks mostly to Mike Epps. The movie unfortunately looks a little cheap because of its ambition and limited budget but its effective nonetheless. There's no real scares here but the action and stunt work are impressive. To the films detriment its main problem is the amateur, sloppy direction from first time director Alexander Witt. Despite the criticisms the movie succeeds exactly where it sets its low expectations at, its mere popcorn entertainment.

Budget: $43m Domestic Box Office: $51m Worldwide Box Office: $129m

3.5/5
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8/10
One of my favorite King adaptations
25 March 2020
This is usually a forgotten adaptation of Stephen King's books. Although I've never read the book I do really like the movie and consider it one of the best movies inspired by his work. The late and great Max Von Snydow (Exorcist) stars as pretty much the devil. A deceitful, manipulative man who opens up a antique shop in a small town that offers anyone who comes in exactly what they are looking for. But there is a price and in mist instances it seems like something inconsequential from breaking windows to writing fake tickets. But all of the actions have horrific consequences as arguments escalate leading to murder. Handsome Ed Neil, Amanda Plummer and Bonnie Bedelia also star. The movie has a dark sense of humor and the horror is playful and twisted. Although it seems that the people are easily manipulated I definitely think the movie expresses that something supernatural is at play. It's fun, weird and creepy so if you haven't seen it, it's definitely worth a watch.

Budget: N/A Domestic Box Office: $15m Worldwide Box Office: $15m

4/5
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8/10
Richard Stanley is back
25 March 2020
Richard Stanley director of one of my favorite pieces of genre of all time Hardware returns from his 30 year hiatus with this creepy, fantastical stylized Lovecraft horror fest. Nicholas Cage (National Treasure) gives another uneven performance as a father and husband whom discovers a glowing meteor in his backyard. Soon after it begins to change the enviorment and than those around him in horrific ways. From ghastly mutations to explosions of beautiful pink florescent light. The movie is intriguing, innovative and stylish with a pulsating dread induced atmosphere. The performances are solid from everyone but Cage. Although he has some inspired moments he just doesn't hold back in unnecessary ways as usual. One thing this movie does prove is that Stanley is back and ready to gave the career he deserved.

4/5
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Into the Dark: Crawlers (2020)
Season 2, Episode 6
6/10
Fun but falls short
25 March 2020
This is a fun little alien invasion flick but never lives up to it's best potential. Hulu's Into the Dark St. Patrick's Day entry is about a funny drug dealer, a sorority girl and a hot guy who find themselves in the middle of an alien invasion during the green holiday. They team up to try and stop it before it takes over the world. There's really nothing new here from Grabbers to the Invasion and more. But it's mostly well done. The movie's main problem is that it starts off strong with clever humor and some nasty gore but it never gets as crazy as it promises. Just when you think it will go balls to wall it pulls back and ends up with something more generic. So definitely not the best entry but a fun way to pass the time.

3/5
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Into the Dark: My Valentine (2020)
Season 2, Episode 5
5/10
Creative but meh
25 March 2020
So I really couldn't get into this one. Hulu's Into the Dark horror anthology series spotlights Valentine's day in a movie about a singer named Valentine whose career was stolen from her by a slimy, abusive ex. His new muse is nothing but a carbon copy named Treasure. One night while doing a small gig shes confronted by her ex and his new beau and he ends up being a psychopath who will do anything to get her back. The movie is stylishly directed and has some fun animeish touches to it but it's all just do blah. The music is okay but catchy and the movie can be entrancing at times but it's hard to be completely engaged because the characters and plot are so thin. All in all it's somewhat disappointing but ultimately just overly mediocre. That being said it's still quite creative and unique.

2.5/5
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Into the Dark: Uncanny Annie (2019)
Season 2, Episode 1
6/10
Clunky but creative
25 March 2020
Hulu's Into the Dark Halloween entry is a goofy but creative little film entitled Uncanny Annie. The setup is pretty by the numbers as a group of bland teens gather to play board games on Halloween night in honor of their friend who passed away last year. They find an old board game and are suddenly transported into a different place in which every move may be their last "Jumanji" style but not as exciting. There are some neat bits here and there like the grim reaper. But mostly it feels quite juvenile. It still fits in well enough with the other films in the anthology but lacks their innovative nature.

2.75/5
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Into the Dark: Pure (2019)
Season 1, Episode 12
7/10
Timely and entertaining
25 March 2020
In celebration of women's day comes Hulu's Into the dark Pure. The movie centers around two young girls that are taken to a misogynistic religious camp to pledge their virginity by their father. Automatically there is a creepy, hunky priest Pastor Seth played by sexy Scott Porter of Hart of Dixie. He speaks brazenly about the sexuality of women and how they belong to men. As the film goes along a group of boys are introduced who try and lure the girls into temptation. But one night while having fun they try and call forth Lillith who doesn't take what's happening to women likely. The movie is timely and important but never preachy. At times it can feel a little clunky and unfocused but ultimately it is a unique little spin on the material although it's a bit goofy.

3.5/5
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Into the Dark: Culture Shock (2019)
Season 1, Episode 10
8/10
Creepy, powerful and unique
24 March 2020
I was really blown away by this entry. Once again Hulu's Into the Dark horror anthology series has spotlighted a director with real talent and something to say. Culture Shock may be the series best film and certainly the most important. The film tells the tale of a young pregnant Mexican woman trying to cross the border with a group of people. The first third of the film deals with the challenges she deals with on a daily basis and the past horrors she's endured. The second part has her caught by border police and she awakes in a beautiful colorful home with a house mother of sorts played by a wonderfully weird Barbara Crampton (From Beyond). As she explores the "traditional" American dream neighborhood she begins to discover imperfections and soon becomes aware of a hidden nightmare she's living. The performances are solid all around especially from lead Martha Higareda (Borderland) who gives her character a strength and vulnerability that's really impressive. The direction from Gigi Saul Guerrero (Mexico Barbero) is confident, creepy and informative but not in a preachy way. The movie gets its point across but still manages to be entertaining. I usually avoid political themed movies but I'm happy I gave this one a shot. It is a really great film with a unique perspective that needs to be seen.

4.25/5
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7/10
A slow burn with an intriguing conclusion
24 March 2020
This is really an intriguing little horror gem. It centers on an artist from America who creates a series of sculptures based on famous missing person cases. One of them spotlights a priest whom painted a portrait of a young girl who ended up disappearing both from her home and the picture. The priest contracts her with the promise to buy her piece inspired by him, commission a new work and have all her pieces sold to wealthy investors at a private auction. Upon arriving strange things begin to happen including strange dreams and weird happenings that lead her to believe the offer isn't genuine and something more sinister is afoot. It all leads up to a shocking and unexpected conclusion. It's definitely a religious horror film but plays like a strange Lynchian thriller. It's not perfect the pacing is a struggle at times but it has an engaging, dread induced atmosphere that feels otherworldly at times.

3.5/5
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8/10
A slow burn cinematic nightmare
24 March 2020
Soooooooo creepy. The movie features on a single young mother who gets a desolate new house in Ireland with her young son. One day while jogging in the woods she discovers a giant hole in the ground and advises her son to not go out by himself. If course he does and when he comes back he's not the same. It's little things at first, slight mb mannerisms and the way he reacts to spiders and other kids he used to hate. But as things get increasingly strange she decides to confront him with truly terrifying consequences. The movie is a slow burn to be sure but it's very well done and undoubtedly suspenseful. It all leads up to a nightmarish finale that's worth the wait. Fine performances and confident direction highlight this great piece of genre.

4/5
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The Cured (2017)
9/10
One of the best "zombie" movies ever
24 March 2020
This one was unfortunately just swept under the cinematic rug. Despite strong reviews and as n intriguing trailer the movie barely registered sadly. Starring a very solid Ellen Page in her best role since Juno and sexy Sam Keeley (Anthropoid) the movie is one of the best "zombie" I've seen. With an intriguing premise that concerns the infected being brought back to everyday life after a cure is found. But there's an awful side effect as they remember what they've done. The film deals with the prejudice and hatred they encounter from the public as they try and reenter. The movies has echoes of the hate crimes and treatment LGBTQ people have and still suffer. But don't worry it's not all inspired drama. Theres plenty of horror as the cured that are pissed off at how they are being treated concoct a plan that involves the 25% that couldn't be cured. The movie is engaging and emotionally resonant. But it's also heartfelt and edge of your seat besides the main subtext it's also about grief and forgiveness and theres a strange connection that the infected possess that almost feels slightly homoerotic when it comes to out main character and his friend who leads the sort if resistance. Ultimately it's innovative and immersive and most of all entertaining. Props to the makers for the queer storyline involving the doctor and her infected love. A definite must see.

4.5/5
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Into the Dark: They Come Knocking (2019)
Season 1, Episode 9
6/10
Uneven but intriguing
24 March 2020
This is a movie that works better symbolically than it does at face value. A father takes his young daughters on a trip to spread their mother's ashes after she died of cancer at the place where they fell in love. While there they are attacked by as group of demonic children in hoods at night. Trapped in the middle of nowhere the father hiked out to try and get help but the little monsters have a more insidious plan for their newest victims. The movie is definitely creepy and emotionally resonant. It's also a bit uneven and has an amateur feel due to the clunky direction. Ultimately the children represent grief and how we hold onto it even when it's time too let go. The problem is the movie is quite nonsensical and heavy handed. That being said the performances are pretty solid all around and you can't help but give props to the makers for being do ambitious. Which makes it fit perfectly into Hulu's innovative Into the Dark series. Plus it's scary. Father's Day.

3/5
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Into the Dark: All That We Destroy (2019)
Season 1, Episode 8
6/10
Intriguing but oddly paced
24 March 2020
I struggled a bit with this entry. I think it would have worked better as a short film. That being said Chelsea Stardust (Satanic Panic) directs the proceedings well enough and gets some strong performances from her talented cast which include oddly sexy Israel Brossuard (Happy Death Day) and a very welcome Samantha Mathis. The movie centers around a scientist whose also a mother. She has managed to create clones. She uses her discovery to ressurect a girl her son brutally murdered over and over again in Hope's ofcuring his murderous appetite. The film's main problem isn't its excessive mean spirit, it's mostly the odd pacing that continually takes you out of the movie. Because of that it's hard to be completely immersed. That being said it is an intriguing film and fits perfectly in Hulu's Into the Dark horror anthology series. Because it pushes boundaries and explores new ground for better or worse. Mothers Day episode.

3/5
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Into the Dark: I'm Just F*cking with You (2019)
Season 1, Episode 7
7/10
Surprisingly complex
24 March 2020
Initially I kept passing this entry aside but it actually pleasantly surprised me. Starring a sexy but psychotic Hayes MacArthur (Angie Tribeca) as a hotel worker who messes with a client played by adorable Keir O'Donnell (Wedding Crashers) whose job is to go around trashing motels basically. It's a fun ride as things graduate from off color jokes to murder. The setup is simple and most of the film takes place at the colorful motel. In an interesting twist the film delivers it's main characters well enough that you're sort of sympathetic towards their plight and are rooting for them. It's definitely one of Hulu's Into the Dark best entries and proves that they are open to exploring interesting and intriguing subject matter.

3.5/5
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7/10
A fun, trashy ride
23 March 2020
I think it's important that when you go into a movie you have an idea of what it's all about. Something entitled Freddy vs. Jason in which two of horror's retro titans go head to head is not going to be aiming high. That being said in the hands of Ronny Yu (Bride of Chucky) the movie is a creative, campy, fun party fest of a flick. It also does a commendable if unnecessary job of bringing their two universes together. But like other modern reboots it has trouble creating a likable base of victims. Monica Keena (Dawson's Creek) is pretty awful as our mostly useless final girl. Only Kelly Rowland (Destiny's Child) and Chris Marquette (Barry)manage to make a memorable impression. As for the big boys Robert Englund is dependably charasmatic as Krueger but Ken Kirzinger really adds nothing to the role of Jason except for an aggressive stature. The movie also stars Lochlyn Munroe (Scary Movie), cutie Jason Ritter (Raise your voice), Brendan Fletcher (RV), Kathryn Issabelle (Ginger Snaps) and sexy stud muffin Zack Ward (Christmas Story) star. All in all it's really a fun ride that's visually stunning and quite entertaining.

Budget: $25m Domestic Box Office: $83m Worldwide Box Office: $117m

3.5/5
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The Guardian (1990)
8/10
Creepy and inspired
22 March 2020
This was and still is one of my fave horror flicks. Directed by William Friedkin of the Exorcist the movie centers around a young couple who hire a nanny and she just happens to be a druid witch who sacrifices babies to the giant, monstrous tree in the forest. The movie is so strange and although it's not as complex or scary as the exorcist it's unique approach to the intriguing material really sells the concept. Jenny Seagrove is creepy as the nanny. The cinematography is appropriately fantastical as is the dread inducing score but the real sell here is the confident and inspired direction. Friedkin takes a concept that could have easily been a goofy mess and makes you take it seriously and for that alone it's worth a watch.

Budget: N/A Domestic Box Office: $17m Worldwide Box Office: $17m

4.25/5
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7/10
Surprisingly inspired and fun
22 March 2020
This is probably the low of the franchise excluding the overly mediocre remake. That being said it's still zany, creative and fun. It also has some surprising twists that actually make things a little more complex. One of them is about how Freddy's daughter was taken away from him and that was one if the main reasons he wanted to take all their kids away from them. The movie also has Kruger's victims coming out of a halfway house for troubled teens so it deals with issues such as child abuse, rape and other nasty bits. In the end Englund is more comedic than ever it's like a straight up cartoon character but the movie is fun and although the 3D feels a bit gimmicky it blew me away as s kid and the finale still holds up. For better or worse director Rachael Talalay's (Ghost on the Machine) film is a flawed but somewhat inspired entry to end off the franchise.

Budget: $5m Domestic Box Office: $35m Worldwide Box Office: $35m

3.5/5
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6/10
By the numbers but trashy fun
20 March 2020
This is a damn good Netflix version of a Lifetime movie. It's got more production value and a more energetic pacing and a slicker feel but it's still a guilty pleasure, hot mess, cinematic trash. Its all by the numbers as a young woman is attacked and than awakens with amnesia. Her supposed husband played by hunky Mike Vogel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre "03") picks her up. He's living and respectful at first until a dark side emerges and she begins to suspect he's not who he says he is. It's very cliched down to the Allstate guy playing a detective who just shows up as s tragic distraction. It's not memorable but its entertaining and let's face it it's not aiming high and in that regard it's a minor success.

3/5
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6/10
Cute but unnecessary
20 March 2020
Surprisingly I really enjoyed the first movie. I thought the characters were cute and relatable and even though it was bit familiar the execution was refreshing. I also found Noah Centino adorable and charming as well as Lana Candor. I did however feel it didn't need a sequel but was charmed by the idea of it. Basically this is a very unnecessary movie. That being said it's still charming and likable even though our main characters make very frustrating decisions. Picking up a little after the first, Lara and Peter are still together but starting to have some doubts. She than receives a letter from from John Ambrose whom she discovers has always had a crush on her. And that's really it as they question their relationship a little and deal with insecurities while being cute. It doesn't move the franchise forward in any way but I still wouldn't mind seeing what happens next.

3.25/5
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7/10
Wonderfully creative with beautiful gothic imagery
20 March 2020
It's true that both 5 and 6 are low points for the franchise but because of the sheer creativity and ingenuity especially in this film I still feel captivated by it. Picking up a year after the events of 4 alice and dan are now graduating high school with a new group of friends. Freddy finds his way back through Alice's unborn child. The kills are creative but not as effective or inventive as the last 2 entries. What is impressive is the stylish cinematography and dark gothic imagery. Freddy is pretty much a flat out comedian but Robert's performance is still intoxicating. As for the new kids they're good enough as is Alice and Dan. But there definitely is more of an amateur quality to the writing and performances this time around. All in all it's still fun with a stylized creative edge and a definite appreciation for the subjects that are explored. Teen pregnancy, unwed motherhood, sanity, parental expectations and their effect, etc.

Budget: $8m Domestic Box Office: $22m Worldwide Box Office: $22m

3.5/5
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7/10
A solid popcorn thriller
19 March 2020
Back in 93 when this film rocked box offices, I was 13 and obsessed with it. I was such a weirdo lol. It was mostly Julia Roberts and she is still one of my favorite actresses. She stars as Darby Shaw a young law student having relations with her professor. She creates a document called the pelican brief as an explanation of why some Judges were murdered. Her lover passes it off to his friend in the bureau and it begins to circulate leaving dead bodies in its wait, Including her boyfriend. Suddenly she's on the run and finds solace when she reaches out to an investigative reporter played by a solid Denzel Washington. Together they must try and survive so that can get the truth out. Watching it now it's still quite entertaining but Roberts is a little over emotional and the actual brief is never fully explained. It's undoubtedly fun but their characters and the plot aren't developed enough to truly be effective. The end it's smart popcorn entertainment.

Budget: $45m Domestic Box Office: $101m Worldwide Box Office: $195m

3.5/5
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