BoJack Horseman: My question is for Diane. Look, I'm sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier. We can publish the book you wrote. You're obviously a better writer than I am. And... And I don't... actually even care what the world thinks about me anymore. I just hated reading that book because I hated feeling like that's how *you* saw me. Because I guess you know me better than anybody, if you think that.
BoJack Horseman: Um, I-I guess my question is do you... do you think it's too late for me?
Diane Nguyen: What?
BoJack Horseman: I mean a-a-a-a-a-a-am I just doomed to be the person that I am? Th-The person in that book? I mean i-it's not too late for me, is it? It's not too late? Diane, I need you to tell me it's not too late.
Diane Nguyen: BoJack, I...
BoJack Horseman: I-I-I-I need you to tell me that I'm a good person. I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person, and I need you to tell me that I'm good. Diane? Tell me, please, Diane. Tell me that I'm good.
[a long stretch of silence pans out, subtly accompanied by the sounds of ocean waves and BoJack's imaginary daughter, Harper, giggling in the background]
Audience Member: Hey, aren't you the horse from "Horsin' Around"?
BoJack Horseman: You can throw this turd of a book in the garbage, and then light the garbage on fire. In fact you can burn all books because my book, written by me, is going to kick your dick off.
BoJack Horseman: [typing] My parents loved me so much, it was crazy. I remember one Sunday afternoon, my mother said, "Your father and I want to spend quality family time together. All the kids in school envy your intelligence and kickball ability. Here's an ice cream sundae." No, wait. "An ice cream sandwich." No. "A dreamsicle." No. I don't know. This is dumb.
Butterscotch Horseman: [in fantasy, slaps young BoJack] Nice writing, Shakespeare.
Young BoJack: [in fantasy] What did I do?
[During his hallucination... ]
Sabrina: Horse! Horse! Horse!
BoJack Horseman: Yes?
Sabrina: Can you make me a penisbutter and vajelly sandwich?
BoJack Horseman: What?
Sarah Lynn: [suddenly grown up and wearing Sabrina's pink overalls] I said, "Make me a penisbutter and vajelly sandwich, BIIIIIIIIIITCH!"