Elijah Wood: Clint
Clint : ...you parked so close, I-I couldn't get out of my...
Wade : My truck's got a dual reeow weeow.
Clint : I'm sorry?
Wade : Dual reeow weeow. Dual weeow, dual weeow, dual reeow weeow. Dual weeow, dual real wheel. Dual. Real. Reow reow. Got a dual reeow weeow. Dual weeow, dual weeow, dual weeow.
Clint : I don't understand
Wade : It's got two extra wheels on the back part of it.
Wade : All right, ladies, here's the plan. We get down on that ledge, jump to the ground, hightail it like linebackers to our cars, boom.
Clint : I thought you tried to outrun them. You said they were too fast for you.
Wade : Yeah, but that was before I had a weapon.
Clint : A violin?
Wade : Not just a violin. It's an instrument of death. I propose we create a symphony of death. Everyone grab an instrument. Here. You take this
[hands Clint a tambourine]
Wade : .
Clint : Oh, yeah, that'll be real effective.
Wade : I'm offering leadership. What are you offering, besides throwing hot pots of coffee at people, or writing a stupid book no one wants to read about some guy who wants to fuck a boat?
Clint : It's not about a guy who wants to fuck a boat. It's a book about obsession and possession...
Wade : He wants to fuck the boat, and you know it.
Clint : Listen...
Wade : Listen, little Stevie King...
Clint : There's an invention called a cell phone that your stupid school confiscated. We need to get to the principal's office, grab our phones and call someone who can help quarantine these kids.
Wade : We're in a total lockdown in case you haven't noticed. We have been breached and there are little cootie kids right out there in the hallway who willingly will fucking rip your face off with their little teeth...
Clint : Well, shit...
Wade : With their little baby teeth, their big teeth haven't even come in yet.
Clint : You know what, you carry on with your symphony of death. I'll sneak around the school where there aren't any kids.
Wade : Oh, you sneak around, huh? Sneak around like a little hobbit. No way, I'm taking the fight to them like a fucking orc. And that is the difference between you and me. I don't wanna scurry. I don't wanna scurry around the hallway like a common squirrel.