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"The Almighty Johnsons" Does This Look Like Asgard? (TV Episode 2012) Poster

Quotes

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Zeb: Okay, coming in, decent or not, because today is goddess day!

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Zeb: When you are Odin, i want you to turn me into Freki - actual Frejki, as in wolf, so I can bite people.

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Helen: How'd it go with the oil guys?

Anders Johnson: Consider them well and truly drilled.

Helen: Oh! I knew you'd do the business!

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Anders Johnson: As a woman, what's an acceptable level of sex in a relationship?

Dawn: Excuse me?

Anders Johnson: You're a woman, you've been in relationships. What's the right number of times a day, as a woman, you could say, before nymphomania kicks in? I mean, don't get me wrong. I got nothing against nymphomania as an affliction in women - it's much more appealing than having one giant eyebrow - but it... it's really hard work. My dick hurts, Dawn. It really, really hurts.

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Olaf Johnson: How come no one remembers Ty?

Kvasir: Well, YOU remember him, don't cha?

Olaf Johnson: Yes.

Kvasir: So what does it matter?

Ty Johnson: It matters to me!

Kvasir: But the only thing that made him matter was that he was a god, and now that he's not a god, he doesn't matter! Not to them, anyway.

Ty Johnson: What "them!"

Kvasir: Oh, you... the billions that aren't us, the... insects.

Olaf Johnson: Mortals?

Kvasir: Gone! Poof! Forgotten.

Ty Johnson: But Dawn didn't know I was a god!

Kvasir: [laughs] Oh, yes, she did. Deep down in that part of her brain that used to worship us, that used to use us to explain their primitive world, she recognized you as a god - they all do - but then, when you stop being a god, their ape brains can't cope with that fundamental shift, and so they just delete cha. Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. Whereas to us, you'll forever be the traitor that turned on his own kind.

Ty Johnson: Why didn't you tell me any of this?

Kvasir: You didn't ask.

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Stacey: Choice. Like Cinderella... on acid.

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Colin Gunderson: I love how they pause to quote scripture before the kill. Makes them sitting ducks.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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