The Angry Birds Movie (2016)
Matilda: [Humming as her painting class, with Red, Chuck, Bomb and Terrence, begins]
Matilda: All right, class. Thought for the day: Water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth.
Red: Here's my thought of the day: When are we done?
Matilda: [sighs] Ugh! Red, what the caterpillar calls the end, the world calls a butterfly.
Red: Can I say I never understand a single thing you're talking about?
Matilda: [mocking Red] "Can I just say...?"
Matilda: [speaks gibberish]
Bomb: Sometimes, when I get upset, I have been known to blow up.
[Bomb walks into his house]
[He and his house explodes]
Bomb: Oh, excuse me, party foul.
Stella: [fell over] Ow!
Early Bird: [Working at Early Bird Worms] Fresh worms caught today.
Early Bird: [to the anger Red] Hey, Red how are ya?
Red: [cheerfully] Oh, I'm horrible!
Mighty Eagle: MIGHTY EAGLE!
[Mighty Eagle smashes into the Piggies castle, but clumsily lands and smashes his head on the golden pot]
Red: [Runs over to Mighty Eagle] Mi... Mighty Eagle... Mighty Eagle, wake up
[Slaps Mighty Eagle's eye with his tongue]
Red: , come on... augh, you've got bad breath...
Mighty Eagle: I can sleep late, Ma. It's not a school day!
Matilda: We're gonna be working managing our anger through movement.
Chuck: Eagle, heron, peacock, warrior, mountain, tree, rabbit, fish, locust, king pigeon, and of course, downward duck.
Red: This is why we went for pedicures, isn't it?
Chuck: No, we got pedicures because we're worth it.
Bomb: I got gels.
Judge Peckinpah: Mr Red! Given the severity of the crimes, I have no choice but to impose the maximum penalty allowed by the law: Anger management class.
Red: Ugh. Pluck my life.
Leonard: Greetings! I am a pig.
Chuck: [whispering to Red] What's a pig?
[the escalator suddenly stops]
Ross: Not working, not working.
[He hits a button with his head which makes the escalator go in reverse]
Leonard: Oh, where we're going.
Ross: Not working.
Leonard: We practiced this a hundred times.
Ross: Oh, man.
Leonard: Give it to me.
Leonard: [to the birds] We're gonna come in again.
Bobby's Mom: [after Red attacks the Anger Management sign] Don't look, Bobby! The anger might be contagious!
Bobby: [waves "hi" to Red]
Red: He started it.
Red: If anyone knows what these pigs are up to, it's Mighty Eagle.
Chuck: [gasps] It's Mighty Eagle's Lake of Wisdom!
[Chuck and Bomb play in the lake]
Red: Get out of there!
[Chuck spits the water into Bomb's mouth]
Red: Don't spit in his mouth!
[Bomb spits the water back into Chuck's mouth]
Red: No, don't spit it back! Uh, don't swallow it.
[Chuck swallows the water]
[Mighty Eagle comes out of his cave as Red, Chuck and Bomb hide behind a rock and Mighty Eagle does a pose]
Red: Oh, wow, it's him.
[as Mighty Eagle finishes posing, he starts to pee in the lake]
Mighty Eagle: Aaahhhhh...
[Bomb and Chuck look strangely at the lake]
Red: Oh, man.
[Bomb pretends to throw up]
Chuck: No, no, no. Ack!
[Chuck scrubs the water off his mouth with a rock, then Mighty Eagle finishes peeing as he feels relaxed]
Red: Horrible turn of events, horrible.
Red: We're gonna get those eggs back! Come on, we're birds! We're descendants from dinosaurs! We're not supposed to be nice!
[Petunia roars like a t-rex]
Judge Peckinpah: Holy moly!
Red: Yeah, point made.
Chuck: I'm gonna get ready.
[Terence slingshots him to the castle]
Chuck: I wasn't ready!
[He uses is speed ability to get into the castle, then he flies into a kitchen, a cactus room, and a room where pigs are having sword duels, then he hits a brick as it falls down]
Red: Chuck, is that you?
Chuck: This is the house of horrors!
Mime: Oh, my God!
Red: That house took my five years to build!
Chuck: Wow. It's such a shame when you create something and everyone else destroys it.
Red: [Red is sleeping in his bed, and suddenly has a flower pot fall on him] Ow!
[It turns out a little kid is kicking a football against his house. He falsely smiles at the kid, then kicks him up in the sky]
Red: Well, how about that? My teacher can shoot fire balls out of her butt!
Judge Peckinpah: Mr. Red! What do we do now?
Red: Wait... You're asking me?
Judge Peckinpah: You tried to tell us but we didn't listen. I didn't listen.
[Hal gets slingshot to the castle, but he comes back due to his boomerang ability]
Red: Hey, he's coming back!
[as Hal comes back he lands his beak into a tree]
Bubbles: Uh, did we win?
Red: Can we get an ice pack for Hal?
Leonard: Show 'em how we do it.
Pig: How you doing?
[Elder bird woman faints]
Leonard: [Expands to huge size to crush the pigs] I told you not to mess with me!
Leonard: Call in the Piggy Air Force!
Red: Am I a passionate bird? Yes, but what does it matter that we're not the same?
Red: That's me, Red. Ever since I was a kid, I never really fit in. No one understands me.
Leonard: Hmm... is that what I think it is?
Stella: That's an egg. That's how are children are born. You guys don't like eggs?
Leonard: [Sotto voce] I wish we did.
[Daydream sequence: Leonard is out in a meadow having a picnic with the egg]
[pours wine and "feeds" the wine to the egg]
Leonard: You look delicious, my dear.
[Leonard skips through the meadow holding the egg while laughing maniacally, then rolls through the grass and points at the sky]
Leonard: That's us.
[2 clouds appear in a heart shape, then the big cloud eats the small cloud. Back to reality: Leonard is holding the egg while laughing maniacally]
Bomb: Okay, well... Sometimes when I get upset, I have been known to blow up.
Red: So you get mad?
Bomb: No, I literally blow up. I explode like a bomb, hence the name.
Leonard: Greetings from my world! The world of the pigs!
Chuck: What's a pig?
Leonard: I am a pig! Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Leonard: Whoa! Where we're going? Wrong way!
Ross: Oops. Not working.
Leonard: We've practice this a hundred times. Give it to me. We're gonna come in again!
[when one of the dynamite was about to blow up and the giant pot was about to fall down on the rock Red is running to get on, with Leonard on his tail]
Leonard: You have annoyed me for the last time!
[the giant pot falls on Red, shielding him as Leonard gasps as the supply of Piggy Island explosives blows up]
Red: Mighty Eagle fly us down there now!
Mighty Eagle: No.
Red: I'm sorry what?
Mighty Eagle: I don't do that anymore. I'm retired. Mostly just tired.
Red: Hey you know what? I used to believe in you. When I was a kid I believed nothing really bad could ever happen because you were here. And now i see the fate of the world hangs on idiots like me. And that sir is sort of terrifying.
Mighty Eagle: It's time for you to go.
Red: You know it's really upsetting to me that you're the only bird who can fly and you're to afraid to do it.
Leonard: [seeing one of the eggs] Is that what I think it is?
Red: Excuse me! Those are fragile, alright? Not yours.
Judge Peckinpah: You are makin' our guest feel unwelcome!
Red: And you're not asking basic questions!
[a pig slaps his butt]
Chuck: Well, this just got awkward.
Red: Doesn't anyone see what's going on here? The whole world is in danger! And it's up to us to stop 'em!
Judge Peckinpah: You tried to tell us, but we didn't listen. What do we do now?
Red: That is where they went, and so that is where we're going!
[the birds cheer]
Chuck: It's Chuck time!
[he runs into a pipe; Red groans]
Red: Time to get angry! Fire!
[Matilda gets slingshot]
Leonard: That guy again.
Matilda: Take that, porkers!
[She shot a fireball to kill the pigs]
Red: Well, how about that? She can shoot fireballs out of her butt.
Red: These pigs mysterious and weird, am I right? I don't trust them! I think they're up to something!
Judge Peckinpah: Your opinion is not needed!
[Red gets slingshot by the pigs]
Red: Beak, wing, giblets!
Leonard: That went well, if you're me.
Red: [as they are being hugged by Mighty Eagle] Anyone else feel like this is crossing a line?
Matilda: Today we are going to be managing our anger through movements.
Leonard: Guards! There's a red bird in these walls! Bring him to me!
Pig: Aye, aye Sir. Roger that, boss!
Leonard: Not in these walls, in the castle! Come on, you guys.
Red: If anyone knows what these pigs are up to it's Mighty Eagle.
Judge Peckinpah: Mr. Red, we are a happy happy bird community. Under the protection of Mighty Eagle, we work, we laugh, we love, and we live our lives free of conflict and strife sir.
Red: We love the sound of our own voice too evidently.
Judge Peckinpah: Perhaps you've never heard the joke, Why don't birds fly? I'm gonna tell you why. Because where else would we ever want to go?
Red: Wow. Not a good joke.
Judge Peckinpah: So now what am i to make of the likes of you. There seems to be a recurring issue here. Anger.
Red: I don't think i have an anger issue. I think you got an anger issue.
Judge Peckinpah: Anger is a weed growing in our garden. And what do you do when you find a weed?
Red: I don't know but i bet you're gonna tell me.
Judge Peckinpah: You pluck it out!
Mime: Oh my God!
Judge Peckinpah: My friends we would love to see your cowboy show.
Leonard: Thank you. Thank you so much.
Leonard: [while dancing] Oh, watch out! Shakin' my bacon!
Red: They don't have feathers? You know, they're just walking around naked, just presenting themselves, I'm looking at all their business here.
Chuck: That part about them I really admire.
Leonard: You're wrecking my house! What's wrong with you?
Red: You wrecked my house!
Leonard: Your house was ugly!
Red: Well now we're even.
Matilda: This little piggy popped! This little piggy exploded. And this little piggy cried wee, wee, I want my mama!
Eva: Your Honor, our family has always practiced natural child-hatch; the risks of having a scrambled infant are too great. There was going to be music, the nest was going to be full with beautiful, fresh-cut flowers, and the first two faces he was going to see were the loving faces of his mother and his father.
[Edward sheds a tear falls onto their hatchling]
Eva: We can never get that moment back.
Red: Ma'am, I never wanted my face to be the first face your baby saw. I mean, what are we talking about here? He probably doesn't even remember me!
[Red walks over to the family, then the hatchling excitedly exclaims]
Judge Peckinpah: Mr. Red, when you moved your house outside of our village, did you notice that nobody tried to stop you? Birds the may smile at you on the street, but that doesn't mean they like you.
Red: Um excuse me boring hippie lady? Looks like the explodey guy's gonna puke.
Matilda: And have you done this before?
Red: Uh yes i have but not usually not for free.
Bomb: I don't know what happened. I was doing the poses i was feeling all zen Matilda was digging it then i lost my grip on it. Let it slipped and it just squeaked out.
Judge Peckinpah: Welcome to Bird Island! Welcome to our new friends the Pigs. Let us have a celebration!
Leonard: Put it there!
Cyrus: Wellcome. Oh sorry!
Leonard: And a hoof to a wing.
Leonard: Citizens of Pig Island. If you spot any birds destroying your neighborhood please capture them.
Pig: What did he say?
Leonard: There's been a change of plans. We will eat the eggs for lunch.
Stella: Did he say eat the eggs?
Red: [after watching The Mighty Eagle pee in "The Lake of Wisdom"] Not so much The Lake of Wisdom. It's more like The Lake of Whiz.
Red: Oh, oh, mmm! Oh, wait. I almost forgot. You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey before I...
Red: [whistles] split, okay? So, on the scale of one to three stars, what would you say about my performance? And don't forget, the squirrel was...
Red: [steps on a squirrel; Distorted scream] free... Sorry about this!
Edward the Birthday Dad: [Distorts] No!
Red: [Distorts] My bad.
Red: [Grunts as he stops] Huh!
Timothy the Birthday Boy: [He realizes the crumb of the birthday cake on the floor and eats it] Mmm!
Red: [Muffled] Congratulations!
Edward the Birthday Dad: Huh?
Eva the Birthday Mom: Oh!
Red: [gives a thumb up] It's a boy!
Leonard: [Sees Red's painting of himself being struck by thunder] Well, that's a very good painting. Very good.
Red: Oh, yeah. Uh... The assignment was "Paint Your Pain", so I painted your pain. It's actually the first in a series.
Red: [Shows his painting of Leonard and his pigs being caught by a octopus] Here you go.
Red: [Shows his painting of him kicking Leonard in a barrel into a waterfall] This one is nice.
Red: [Shows his painting of him roasting Leonard in a pit with a apple in his mouth] I call this one "Catharsis".
Leonard: [He is unimpressed]
Red: [Shows his painting of him slingshots Leonard outta Bird Island] And... Oh, I call this one "Bye-Bye".
Leonard: Huh. Wonderful likeness.
Leonard: [to Judge Peckinpah] I thought you said you stored your nuts for winter.
Leonard: [Stella, Peckinpah, Earl, Photog and Earl laughs] Burn.
Red: [He runs to Timothy's house for a birthday party, dressed in a crazy clown outfit] Ta-da!
Timothy the Birthday Boy: [screams]
Red: No, no, no, no, no!
Red: Happy hatch day to you. Happy hatch day, dear
[he looks at the piece of paper with the kid's name on it]
Red: Timothy wheat allergy, doesn't like clowns.
Red: Oh, boy.
Timothy the Birthday Boy: [sniffles]
Red: [continues to finish the song] Happy hatch day to you!
Timothy the Birthday Boy: [screams]
Judge Peckinpah: There seem to be a recurring issue here! Anger.
Red: don't think I have an anger issue, I think you got an anger issue. Are you aware that that robe that you're wearing isn't fooling anybody?
[he suddenly takes the robe off of to reveal Judge Peckinpah standing on top of Cyrus to appear tall]
[there's an audible gasp from the crowd watching]
[Judge Peckinpah falls down]
Mime: Oh, my God!