Steve Smith: [In a flashback scene where Steve and his friends are young kids]
Steve Smith: Hey, you shouldn't be worrying about girls for another ten years. You should be worrying about blocks and making pee-pee on the potty. Girls, this guy's worried about!
Snot Lonstein: You're right, Steve. You're always right.
Barry Robinson: Interesting how we've developed such a sophisticated hierarchy at this young age.
Steve Smith: Shut up, Barry.
Barry Robinson: I'm at the bottom.
Hayley Smith: [to Snot] I don't love you, okay? I'm married. Sometimes happily.
Steve Smith: [to Snot about Hayley] If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure she has the herps.
Jeff Fischer: [sticks his head out the window] Yeah, she does.
Steve Smith: Snot? Are you okay?
Snot Lonstein: I almost didn't make it to school.
Steve Smith: Oh, no, Jenny. What did she do?
Snot Lonstein: Oh, Steve! We went to Taco King and then we rode the Ferris wheel, then we went to the beach and stayed up all night talking about our hopes and dreams. Then I fucked her! I finally did it, man. I'm not a virgin anymore.
[Steve has a shocked look on his face]
Steve Smith: [to Roger] You slut!
Roger the Alien: I have to say, it was super relaxing being an innocent young girl for a change.
Steve Smith: Innocent? You did it with Snot on the beach!
Roger the Alien: Yeah, I did. Got sand all up in my Jenny dress, not to mention my gopher hole. Oop, I mentioned it.
Steve Smith: [to Roger] I should've known you'd take it too far.
Roger the Alien: Yeah, you should've. You've known me for years, Steve.
Roger the Alien: I'll tell you what's going I like Snot. He's cute and he's funny and he treats me nice. Reminds me of a young Paul Reiser.
Steve Smith: He is nothing like a young Paul Reiser. He's Rob Morrow on his best day.
Snot Lonstein: Take it from someone who's getting sniz on the reg.
Barry Robinson: Hey, what are we supposed to do?
Steve Smith: Well, I guess we could...
Barry Robinson: Not you, virgin!
Steve Smith: [to Roger] Do you know what time it is?
Roger the Alien: Nope. We were having sex in the park and I totally lost track. I must have been making weird noises 'cause a bunch of cats wouldn't leave us alone. Had to throw a couple cats.
Steve Smith: Roger, you have to stop this.
Roger the Alien: I see. I know what's really going on here. You can't stand the fact that Snot's cool now and you're no longer king of the nerds.
Steve Smith: That's ridiculous! I mean sure there's been an established hierarchy, but...
[looks at the object that Roger has]
Steve Smith: What wh-what is that?
Roger the Alien: Oh, this? My stress ball.
Steve Smith: But there's a crack in it.
Roger the Alien: Uh-huh.
Steve Smith: Oh, my God, that's how you and Snot have been...
Roger the Alien: Relieving stress. Because this is a stress ball. And trust me, Snot's been relieving a lot of stress into this thing.
Principal Lewis: Hey, Steve, I'm just telling a few people, I'm making belt buckles now if you want to buy one. Check it out.
[shows Steve one of his belt buckles]
Principal Lewis: He's got red eyes from smoking weed.
Steve Smith: I really can't believe you're an educator, Brian.
Principal Lewis: My job's mostly administrative.
Steve Smith: [after Steve learns that his friends went to Wild West Land without him] Last I checked, friends excursions included all of the friends. How could you come here without me?
Snot Lonstein: Because you hate Jenny and you're jealous that I'm getting sniz on the reg.
Steve Smith: Stop saying that!
Roger the Alien: [crying] Sons of Tucson, new on FOX? When was this on? I watch FOX. I never saw this.