Damon Salvatore : You should really lock your door. Aw, come on, pouty. At least give me two points for ingenuity.
Elena Gilbert : Do you think this is funny?
Damon Salvatore : Yes, Elena. I find hilarity in the lengths that I have to go to to repeatedly save your life.
Elena Gilbert : What did Stef say about this?
Damon Salvatore : Pretty good laugh.
Elena Gilbert : And what did he say about Elijah still being alive?
Damon Salvatore : Yeah, that. I didn't tell him.
Elena Gilbert : Why not?
Damon Salvatore : Well, A, he can't do anything about it. And B, what I just said. Where's Bonnie?
Jeremy Gilbert : I thought she was meeting you.
Damon Salvatore : No, she's on moonstone duty and I'm on Elena patrol.
Jeremy Gilbert : And who's on Tyler Lockwood and the full moon?
Damon Salvatore : Vampire Barbie asked me if she could handle it. I said why not. Figured she'd screw up, he would bite her, then I'd be rid of two of my problems.
Elena Gilbert : Hold on, tonight's the full moon?
Damon Salvatore : Yep, but you're too occupied with your suicidal tendencies to notice. What?
Alaric Saltzman : Sheriff Forbes just declared Mason Lockwood a missing person.
Damon Salvatore : What, why?
Alaric Saltzman : Some girl from Florida showed up on the Lockwood's doorstep looking for Mason.
Damon Salvatore : What girl?
Alaric Saltzman : I don't know. But she seems to have everyone in a tizzy.
Damon Salvatore : That's not good. Where are you?
Alaric Saltzman : I'm at the grill.
Damon Salvatore : I'm on my way.
Damon Salvatore : Change in plans, you babysit.
Damon Salvatore : Hey you know, you should get out, enjoy the sun. Oh wait, you can't.
Bonnie Bennett : [as Elena comes down the stairs] Where are you going?
Elena Gilbert : Um... to see Stefan.
Bonnie Bennett : You're lying.
Elena Gilbert : No, I'm not.
Bonnie Bennett : Really? Tell your face.
Elena Gilbert : Are you serious?
Jeremy Gilbert : [on the landing behind them] She took the moonstone.
[has handbag Elena took it from]
Elena Gilbert : How did you...?
Bonnie Bennett : We tested you. You failed.
Elena Gilbert : [sighs, shakes her head] Klaus killed Katherine's entire family just because she crossed him. I can't let that happen.