Jillian Russell: Hey... maybe it was that cat who was the murderer! Let me ask him: "Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow?"
Talking Cat: [voice of Patrick Stewart] We don't all talk like that. I happen to be a professor.
Derek Wilcox: Our apologies, sir.
Talking Cat: I should imagine so. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have papers to correct.
Glen Quagmire: Can't we all just be happy she's dead?
Stewie Griffin: If anybody's gonna take that bitch down, it's gonna be me.
Diane Simmons: You shouldn't have stopped to say hi to me. You would've lived longer.
Lois Griffin: God, why do I ever try to be friends with other women?
Consuela: [greeting each guest as they walk in the mansion] Meester Peter. Meester Joe. Meester Bonnie.
Stewie Griffin: She doesn't know what "mister" means.
Consuela: Meester Mort. Meester Muriel. Mayor West Meester.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, my God, seriously.
Joe Swanson: The murderer... is one of us!
Joe Swanson: And someone ate the last goat cheese tartlet.
Peter Griffin: Now I hope I die next!
Stewie Griffin: SPOILER:
[after Stephanie is killed]
Stewie Griffin: I can't help but feel this would be sadder if she wasn't so heavy.
James Woods: ...Where should I begin? You see, recently I've become a born-again Christian thanks to this beautiful little angel. She came into my life as if out of nowhere, enchanted me beyond my wildest dreams and opened my eyes to the cleansing truth of Jesus Christ's love.
Priscilla: Oh, honey, it was always within you. I just helped you find it.
Carl: Uhm... what does all this gay stuff have to do with us?
Peter Griffin: Oh, my God! Are those Stephanie's underpants?
Glen Quagmire: Oh, God.
Mayor Adam West: They're huge!
Stewie Griffin: Looks like the crotch got chewed on by a walrus mouth.
Lois Griffin: Look, it's got flowers! Ha, I mean, why bother? Who's gonna see 'em?
Mayor Adam West: Maybe someone in space.
[Everyone starts laughing]
Glen Quagmire: Come on, guys, can't we all just be glad she's dead?