Tamara Drewe (2010)
Tamara Drewe: So, who are your influences?
Ben Sergeant: Everyone asks that. I mean, what do you want me to say? Phil Collins? Animal from The Muppets?
Glen McCreavy: Why does the asshole always get the girl?
Tess: Is that Tamara Drewe who writes the column in one of the Sundays?
Beth Hardiment: Used to. Writes for the Independent now. She spent weeks going on about her nose job. Smart way to pay for it I suppose.
Tess: Was her old one an awful conk?
Nicholas Hardiment: Yes.
Andy Cobb: Marriage. Remind me never to try it.
Zoe: Andy, you're just a sex object. No-one'd have you.
Andy Cobb: So what do you have to do to get a cup of tea around here?
Tamara Drewe: Make it. Tea, sugar, fridge.
Glen McCreavy: Oh Jesus. He's been translated into Icelandic and Swahili. What an output.
Glen McCreavy: Wow, this is a great old house.
Tamara Drewe: Thanks. Do you want to buy it?
Glen McCreavy: I'm not the property owning type. No, I prefer my life to fit in hand luggage.
Andy Cobb: That why you're home, to flog it?
Tamara Drewe: Yep.
Andy Cobb: Make a nice second home for some banker wankers.
Tamara Drewe: Look Andy, if you want it, why don't you just make me an offer?
Andy Cobb: Because, sadly, I'm still prey to the economic forces that threw the peasant classes off the land.
Tamara Drewe: Unlucky.
Andy Cobb: Tam. What the fuck have you done to your nose?
Tamara Drewe: Oh, come on, Andy. Aliens came and took it.
Tamara Drewe: You know, before I had the nose job I had no problem being taken seriously. Maybe, when they removed that bit of cartilage they pulled out my brain by mistake.
Glen McCreavy: Andy, you know, the trouble with you is that you think like a loser. I know this because I'm the loser that all other losers come to for tips. I'm a loser's loser.
Andy Cobb: I'm a pedigree loser.
Ben Sergeant: Everything you've heard about drummers is complete shit.
Tamara Drewe: You mean they don't spontaneously combust?
Nicholas Hardiment: [Watches the dog chasing the cows chasing their owner in a field] Fuck soup!