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"NCIS" Last Man Standing (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)

(2008)

Quotes

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Ah life on the ocean blue, me hearties. If the scurvy don't get you, then the pox will. And tell me this, me little McShipmate, how's that scurrilous black-hearted pirate king of ours Captain One-Shot Gibbs?

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs enters] Well I'm just fine, DiNozzo.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh... uh...

[DiNozzo slaps the back of his own head]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There you go, Boss. Welcome aboard.

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NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after learning his new field team is the target of a mole hunt] You were gonna get around to telling me?

NCIS Director Leon Vance: Had no evidence. I figured I'd put you with them, your radar would go off, and one day you'd come to me and say you had a doubt about one of them.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: A "doubt"? A "doubt", Leon? I got a doubt about every one of them. Got a former FBI guy who doesn't listen, got a boy genius who doesn't drive, got a lawyer who doesn't shoot.

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NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after McGee tells them how to locate some files] That the fastest way?

NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: I was worried you might ask me that.

NCIS Director Leon Vance: We never had this conversation.

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Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Mr. Palmer, tell Agent Gibbs he can send in the B team.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs enters] Implies there's an A team, Duck.

Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Isn't there?

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They're all A teams.

Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Perhaps some even A plus.

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NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after someone calls McGee Boss] "Boss"?

NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: [Looks up and notices Gibbs] Boss. I'm not really their Boss. They just, uh, call me that because I'm a... field agent. I carry the hand gun. It's good to see you, Boss.

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NCIS Director Leon Vance: The reason I broke up your team, Gibbs, was because whoever was blackmailing Vargo was an NCIS agent.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not one of mine.

NCIS Director Leon Vance: No. From what Vargo told me, I narrowed it down to three agents. Only reason I broke up your team was so I form a new one.

[turns on display with Gibbs's new team]

NCIS Director Leon Vance: So you can help me find out which one of these three is betraying their country.

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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: We.l, it's not the same. We were a team. I would give this up in a heartbeat to be working with you and Ziva again!

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: And DiNozzo?

NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: ...Yeah, him too.

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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well I thought I never say it and truly mean it, but it's good to see you, Tony.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I miss you too, Probie.

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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: [after ending video conversation with DiNozzo] He's insane!

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah.

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NCIS Special Agent Brent Langer: Four months I've been sitting here fielding calls for DiNozzo. And I swear - they're all women.

NCIS Special Agent Michelle Lee: [pops up from underneath Ziva's desk] And that surprises you? Have you seen my Oman Threat Assessment?

NCIS Special Agent Brent Langer: [holds up the file] Oh, is that what this is?

[chuckles]

NCIS Special Agent Brent Langer: And I thought it was a copy for a travel brochure. Come see sunny Oman.

NCIS Special Agent Michelle Lee: Give me the file, Langer. Come on.

NCIS Special Agent Brent Langer: [holds it over her head] Ooh...

NCIS Special Agent Daniel T. Keating: Give her the file, Langer.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [appears behind Brent] Give her the file, Langer.

NCIS Special Agent Daniel T. Keating: [stands at attention] Good morning, sir.

NCIS Special Agent Michelle Lee: Morning, sir.

NCIS Special Agent Brent Langer: [stands lazily and hands Lee the file] Morning, sir.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: So glad we all agree on something.

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NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after Abby hands him a post-it note] One... two... six.

Abby Sciuto: One hundred and twenty-six. That is the number of days that Tony, McGee and Ziva have been gone. I really didn't think you'd let it get into triple-digits, Gibbs. But now it's way more. It's like a third of a whole year. I miss them.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Abby, you had lunch with McGee yesterday.

Abby Sciuto: It's not the same. I miss them collectively, as a group. My three musketeers. Tim is the only one I've seen. No Tony, no Ziva. I get postcards from Tony.

[hugs Gibbs]

Abby Sciuto: I want them back, Gibbs. Please get them back.

[Abby releases him and looks at him sternly]

Abby Sciuto: You have ten days. Okay, I don't want to pressure you. So twelve. But no more than two weeks.

[Gibbs smirks and walks off]

Abby Sciuto: And stop taking the stairs!

[the elevator dings and Abby smiles]

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NCIS Special Agent Brent Langer: [Referring to Gibbs] It'll get better.

NCIS Special Agent Michelle Lee: Yeah... when he retires.

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NCIS Director Leon Vance: Solve this first, then we'll talk.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ziva too.

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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: [as they're searching for a file] What do you see?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: A short life, McGee. Yours! If I get caught.

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Eli David: Tell me Leon, are we winning?

NCIS Director Leon Vance: ...I don't know Eli.

Eli David: I'd like to think we are. And then... There's something else: a bombing, a kidnapping, an atrocity. Use her well, Leon. Ziva is the sharp end of the spear.

NCIS Director Leon Vance: Thank you, Eli.

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Abby Sciuto: [rambling after Gibbs sneaks up on her] I need a hearing test. I'm going deaf. Am I talking loud? Because sometimes people who don't hear very well, they talk too loud. Except, sometimes, when I get water in my ears, I talk so softly that people tell me to speak up because I have that weird, you know, gurgling, swishing sound in my head. Has that ever happened to you? Why didn't I hear the elevator?

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Abby Sciuto: [walking into the squad room on McGee's arm; re: Ziva coming back to NCIS] I'm so excited, McGee, I can't believe it, pinch me.

[McGee does]

Abby Sciuto: Ow.

[she socks him]

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NCIS Special Agent Michelle Lee: Look, I know you never thought much of me as a field agent. You probably never thought much of me as a lawyer.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hmm, that's more of the profession than the person.

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Eli David: You know, Leon, sometimes those who know ask me directly, the brave among them. But most of the time, the others, I can feel them looking at me and silently wondering, "how can a father possibly raise his daughter to be a professional killer?"

NCIS Director Leon Vance: A question that I've never asked you because I know the answer.

Eli David: Every day is a fight to survive. It is my dream that my daughter will not have to make that decision with her sons and her daughters. I would like my grandchildren to be doctors and architects, to live a happy life, to grow fat and old. You want her back, don't you?

NCIS Director Leon Vance: Yes, Eli, I want her back.

Eli David: Tell me, Leon, are we winning?

NCIS Director Leon Vance: ...I don't know, Eli.

Eli David: I like to think we are... and then there's something else: a bomb, a kidnapping, an atrocity. Use her well, Leon. Ziva is the sharp end of the spear.

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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: The only way that we're gonna access this information is from a secure Naval communications room, so you are it. Now here it is, I'm gonna give you a code, you're gonna enter it on the keyboard. When you do, it's gonna ask you for a password and an authorization key...

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [covering] Dad! This is why I don't want Tim driving my car. You know, and I told Tim, that that's my car. It's not a family car, it's my car!

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[Tony is contacting Washington, D.C. via video chat from the U.S.S. Seahawk]

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Got work to do.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm on it, Boss! What am I on, McGee?

NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Are you alone?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, yeah. Just me and five thousand of my closest friends. I am *never* alone!

[lowers voice]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I really need to come home, Boss.

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'm working on it.

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