District 9 (2009)
Wikus Van De Merwe: Get your fokkin' tentacle out of my face!
Automated MNU Instructional Voice: [in MNU Humvee] When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.
Christopher Johnson's Son: How many moons does our planet have?
Christopher Johnson: Seven.
Christopher Johnson's Son: This planet only has one. I can't wait to see our planet again... it's bigger than this one, isn't it?
Christopher Johnson: [turns off holographic atlas of what seems to be the Alien home planet] Enough.
Christopher Johnson's Son: We go home now?
Christopher Johnson: Not home, no. This is where we must go.
[shows his son an MNU brochure outlining "Sanctuary Park Alien Relocation Camp" aka District 10]
Christopher Johnson: See that tent there? That might be ours.
Christopher Johnson's Son: I want to go home!
Christopher Johnson: We can't go home. Not anymore.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Hello, little guy! It's the sweetie man coming!
Wikus Van De Merwe: Could you go a bit slower with the clicks there, it sounded like you said *three years*...
Wikus Van De Merwe: We need your signature on this eviction notice.
Angry Alien: Fuck off!
[smacks the pad away]
Christopher Johnson's Son: Fuel goes in here!
Christopher Johnson: That's enough! QUIET!
Christopher Johnson's Son: ...then we fly away.
Christopher Johnson: I said QUIET! We cannot trust him.
Wikus Van De Merwe: What is he saying about the fuel, is this, are you trying to start this thing? He-he. Are you little fookers trying to start this, and get away, ay?
Christopher Johnson: Never mind.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Ha-ha. Yeah, you sneaky fookin' prawns, heh?
Christopher Johnson: Too bad. I could have fixed you.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Wha- wait what did you say about-about the *fixing*?
[Wikus enters an MNU code and the gate opens]
[an MNU agent shoots several bullets at Wikus, causing him to pull the trigger of his Alien gun and shoot the agent]
Christopher Johnson: [the MNU agent explodes] Fuck!
[Wikus takes off his mask and checks his vest]
Christopher Johnson: I thought you said not to kill them?
Wikus Van De Merwe: He shot at me!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [in Christopher's ship] This whole's thing's under your shack? For 20 years, you've had this fookin' thing hidden out here? This is, this is very illegal, I mean, this is... this is a fine.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Oh! I haven't shown you a picture of my wife! Here she is, my angel. I tell people she actually looks like an angel, you see here? The white looks like a halo on her head. Can you see that? She's my angel, you're picking that up on your cameras there! They probably won't keep that in the film but...
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Points out Alien graffiti] This is basically a guy, and there's 3 humans here, basically trying to make a warning, you know, saying "I kill 3 humans, watch out for me."
Wikus Van De Merwe: [when under attack in MNU] What are you doing?
Christopher Johnson: Making a bomb!
Tania Van De Merwe: It couldn't possibly come from him... I know it's true.
Christopher Johnson's Son: We go home now?
Christopher Johnson: Yes.
Prawn: We trade
[large alien robot suit]
Prawn: for ten thousand cans.
Obesandjo: Give them one hundred cans.
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: [to Prawn] One hundred!
Prawn: Yes, yes, but we take all of them now.
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: All right, boys! Get them the cat food, hurry up!
Koobus Venter: I can't believe I'm being paid to do this. I love watching you prawns die.
Wikus Van De Merwe: I would never have any kind of... pornographic activity with a fokkin' creature!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [examining and fiddling with the lid of the Prawns' fuel] ... but, it's uh, not a weapon... but I don't trust it, I don't trust any-a the -
[sprayed in face with the Prawns' fuel]
James Hope - Police Officer: I mean, you can't say they don't look like that, that's what they look like, right? They look like prawns.
Sarah Livingstone - Sociologist: [about Nigerian scams on the Prawns] ... where they sold cat food to the aliens for exorbitant prices.
[Wikus walks into a room filled with Alien weaponry]
Wikus Van De Merwe: This is Christmas. This is Christmas, my friends! This is the biggest find that I've ever seen.
[Fundiswa clutches his face mask while he witnesses the burning shack]
Wikus Van De Merwe: [referring to the face mask] You don't need that, man. Only sissies wear that. You don't need that.
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: [gets a machete, moves towards Wilkus, laughing] Hehe, I will teach you...
Wikus Van De Merwe: [grabs an alien weapon] YOU BLIKSEM!
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: Hey, HEY, HEY!
[gets blown away by Wilkus]
Obesandjo: OH! HOLY SHIT!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [blasts several more of Obesandjo's soldiers, then turns to Obesandjo] You tell them to fokking stand down!
Obesandjo: [shouts to his soldiers in Xhosa, who back off]
Wikus Van De Merwe: Put the fokking weapons in the bag!
[backing away with the weapons]
Wikus Van De Merwe: Don't fokking look at me!
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: How did you do this one, my man? It's doggy-style with a demon. You're one brave white man. Were you wearing a condom?
Fundiswa Mhlanga: [about Wikus Van de Merwe] He was an honest man, and he didn't deserve any of what happened to him.
MNU Agent: MNU! We're serving eviction notices.
Alien: What is "eviction"?
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Nervous] Forget about the weapons there mate, it doesn't matter. Forget about the weapons!
Obesandjo: I want his arm. Cut it off.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Comes into his house with the lights turned off, talking to his wife] I think I crapped my pants
[Lights turn on and people yell surpise]
Wikus Van De Merwe: You wanna' fucking play with me, Koobus?
[cocks the Exo-Suit's gun]
Wikus Van De Merwe: You fucker!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [giving an Alien reproductive apparatus to co-worker] Here, you can take that, you want to keep that, as a souvenir of your first abortion, ay. You can feel like you've done one of these too.
Thomas: [beaming] Thanks, boss!
Grey Bradnam - UKNR Chief Correspondent: There's no way of knowing whether or not Christopher Johnson will return. We don't know if he was simply escaping, whether he will effect a rescue plan, uh... and as the so-called free press says, whether or not he'll come back and declare war on us.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Wikus sees the head restraint descend down in-front of him] Alright, that's very comfor...
[Wikus's head is suddenly shunted forward and we hear a whirring sound]
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Wikus shouts] *Argh* Foking Bliksem!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [talking to a prawn in District 9] We drinking a little bit here, eh?
[the prawn vomits at Wikus's feet]
Wikus Van De Merwe: [while the 'anti-abortion team' burns down the shack with the alien eggs in it] You hear that? That's a popping sound that you're hearing. It's almost like a popcorn.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Facing the PMCs] I'm not fucking scared of you!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Wikus is obviously falling sick] Okay, let's cut some cake!
[Wikus begins to hallucinate and experience distortion in hearing his own speech, slowing things down considerably]
Wikus Van De Merwe: C-U-T S-O-M-E C-A-K-E!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [picks up to examine and fiddle with silver canister] Well, huh, this has got the markings of - so it's definitely alien but it's uh, not a weapon... but I don't trust it, ya know, I don't trust any-a the...
[sprayed in face with the Alien fuel]