[Cartman tries calling Butters to stop his past self from freezing again, when his past self appears again]
Past Cartman : Butters? Come on, we gotta go!
Cartman : [hearing his past self] No! Don't listen to me! Tell me to go screw myself!
Butters : [confused] Huh?
Past Cartman : Come on, Butters, it's gonna get dark!
Butters : But you're telling me not to go with you.
Past Cartman : [surprised] *What?*
[enters the kitchen to talk to his future self]
Past Cartman : [shouts] Who the fuck is this?
Cartman : [shouts] Aw, dammit, just listen to me! If you freeze yourself, you're going to die!
Past Cartman : Suck my balls!
Cartman : No, *you* suck my balls! Just listen to me for one minute!
Past Cartman : [pause] Okay, you have one minute.
Cartman : Right before you left for Butters' house, you drank a bunch of Ovaltine and put Clyde Frog so nothing would happen to him, right?
Past Cartman : [shocked] Are you spying on me?
Cartman : [shouts] No, I *am* you, you stupid asshole!
Past Cartman : [shouts] Fuck you, asshole! You can go fuck yourself!
[hangs up the phone and puts his hood back on]
Past Cartman : Come on, Butters, we're going!
Butters : Oh, all right then.
Cartman : [in the future, frustrated] God, I hate that guy!
[the phone rings in Kyle's house, and Kyle goes to answer it]
Kyle : Hello?
[he gets static until... ]
Cartman : [voice from the future] Hello? Kyle?
Kyle : Hello?
Cartman : Yes. Hello, Kyle. It's Eric. Uh, how's it going?
Kyle : [angry] What do you want?
Cartman : Kyle, you are the smartest guy I know, so I think maybe you're the only person who can understand this. You know how earlier today I asked you to help me freeze myself?
Kyle : I'm not gonna help you freeze yourself, Cartman! It's a stupid idea!
Cartman : No, see, I *know* it's a stupid idea. Because I actually did freeze myself and... you were right, Kyle. It backfired and I was frozen for 500 years, and now I'm calling you from the future.
Kyle : [with half-closed eyes] ... Uh huh.
Cartman : No, really, Kyle, I'm, I'm seriously. Here, talk to my robot dog.
[backs up to hand the phone to K-10]
K-10 : Bark bark. Hello, Kyle. Bark bark.
Kyle : [pause] I'm hanging up now.
Cartman : [shouts] No, Kyle, listen! Please! I think right about now, I'm in my mom's freezer.
Kyle : Suck my balls, fatass!
Cartman : [pause] I will. I will suck your balls, Kyle. Just stop me from freezing myself, and I will get down on my knees, and I will suck your balls. I'll suck 'em dry, Kyle.
[a car honks its horn, and Kyle looks over as it leaves]
Kyle : [shouts] Aw, goddammit, now you've made me miss my ride! My whole day is screwed up because of you!
[he hangs up the phone]