"The Simpsons" I Love Lisa (TV Episode 1993) Poster

(TV Series)


Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum


  • [showing Lisa his tape of the Krusty Anniversary Show, where Lisa rejected Ralph] 

    Bart : Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.

    [he advances the tape in slow motion] 

    Bart : And... now!

    [on the tape, Ralph gives a little whimper; Lisa groans] 

  • Elizabeth Hoover : Do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac?

    Bart : I'll be good.

  • Principal Skinner : [after having a traumatic flashback of Valentine's Day in Vietnam]  Johnny. Johnny! JOHNNYYYYYYYYYYYY!

    Bart : Cool! I broke his brain.

  • [Bart and Lisa both want to go to the Krusty Anniversary Show, and Ralph Wiggum has tickets to take himself and her; his crush] 

    Lisa : I don't even know if I should go. I don't even like him.

    Bart : You're right, Lis. You shouldn't go. I'll go disguised as you.

    Lisa : What if he wants to hold hands?

    Bart : I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.

    Lisa : What if he wants to kiss?

    Bart : I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.

    Lisa : What if he -...

    Bart : [interrupts Lisa]  You don't wanna know how far I'll go.

  • Ralph : So, do you like... stuff?

  • Milhouse Van Houten : [as Lincoln]  I thought that Civil War would never end. Now to soothe my head with an evening at Ford's Theater.

    [doors behind him are kicked open] 

    Milhouse Van Houten : Oh, no! John Wilkes Booth!

    Bart : Hasta la vista, Abey.

    Homer : Come on, boy - finish him off!

  • Krusty the Klown : Is this your girlfriend, Ralph?

    Ralph Wiggum : Yes, she is. I love Lisa Simpson, and when I grow up I'm going to marry her.

    Lisa : [erupting]  Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! Now you listen to me! I don't like you, I never liked you, and the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine is because nobody else would!

  • [Before the President's Day pageant] 

    Bart : Hey girls, check out this president!

    [He turns around and drops his pants, showing a pair of fake eyes and a long nose attached to his butt] 

    Bart : [a la Richard Nixon]  I am not a butt!

  • Ralph : The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

  • Lisa : [in the Presidential play, Lisa is Martha Washington and Ralph is George Washington]  Dear, dear George Washington. Can this liberty you dream of be worth all this bloodshed?

    Ralph Wiggum : Dear madam, would you put a price on the air we breathe, or the providence that sustains us?

    Lisa : But couldn't we just give into the British?

    Ralph Wiggum : NEVER!

    Lisa : [George Washington is on his deathbed]  Please don't leave me George...

    Ralph Wiggum : Dear wife, if I could take but one treasure with me to the next life, it would be your tender kiss.

    [he kisses her hand and dies; she cries] 

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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