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"WKRP in Cincinnati" The Airplane Show (TV Episode 1980) Poster

Quotes

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Les Nessman: Travis, the very first day you came to this station, you promised to get me a helicopter.

Andy Travis: I know I did Les, but that was a long time ago, and I was lying.

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Bailey Quarters: Well, I planned my high school homecoming parade once, and all I can remember about that is you never put the horses up front.

Venus Flytrap: Why not?

[Mr. Carlson, Andy, Jennifer and Herb simultaneously and incredulously turn to Venus in he not understanding the reason]

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Bailey Quarters: [about a WKRP stunt to help save Les' life] I bet all the other stations could help.

Herb Tarlek: Why should they?

Bailey Quarters: Well, if you were in competition with us, would you want *us* to lose Les?

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[Buddy and Les are flying over the city hoping to hear a symphony of honking car horns below]

Buddy Barker: I don't hear anything.

Les Nessman: We can't hear over the engine.

Buddy Barker: Oh yeah, no problem.

Les Nessman: [worriedly screaming] No, don't turn the engine off. Don't turn...

[Buddy turns off the plane's engine]

Les Nessman: [worriedly] Oh, my gosh.

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[Buddy and Les are flying over the city, while Buddy has turned off the plane's engine so that they can hear the honking car horns below]

Les Nessman: [after hearing the car horns] Buddy, will you please turn the engine back on?

Buddy Barker: I can't Les. We're out of gas.

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Venus Flytrap: Two bananas...

Dr. Johnny Fever: [checking note he made on tear sheet] Two.

Venus Flytrap: Wheat germ...

Dr. Johnny Fever: Wheat germ.

Venus Flytrap: Sixteen Vitamin C pills...

Dr. Johnny Fever: Sixteen.

Venus Flytrap: Juice from one carrot.

Dr. Johnny Fever: One carrot.

Venus Flytrap: Blend it for three minutes, and then drink.

Dr. Johnny Fever: Now, you're saying that no matter how much I continue to abuse my body, this will keep me alive...?

Venus Flytrap: Forever and ever.

Bailey Quarters: [entering broadcast booth] Move it or lose it!

Venus Flytrap: Morning, Bailey.

Bailey Quarters: I am up in thirty seconds!

Dr. Johnny Fever: How you doing, Bailey?

Bailey Quarters: Come on, hop it!

Dr. Johnny Fever: Hop it?

[shakes his head, surrenders his chair]

Bailey Quarters: Look at this.

[complains about scattered tear sheets]

Bailey Quarters: From now on, I do not go on the air without time to prepare.

Dr. Johnny Fever: [checks watch, Les is late] Where is Cincinnati's window to the world?

Bailey Quarters: I do not know, but he is in trouble with Carlson. Is tomorrow Veterans Day or Armistice Day?

Venus Flytrap: I don't know.

Bailey Quarters: But you're a veteran.

[she admonishes him for not knowing]

Venus Flytrap: They changed the name.

Bailey Quarters: [to Johnny] Is it Armistice Day?

Dr. Johnny Fever: Gee, I, yeah... No. I don't really know. Uh, how about Decoration Day?

Venus Flytrap: No, no, no. Decoration Day has been changed to Memorial Day. That's in May.

Dr. Johnny Fever: Well, maybe it's Armed Forces Day.

Venus Flytrap: No, no, that's been changed to Gay Indian Liberation Day.

Dr. Johnny Fever: No, no, no. No. Gay Indian Liberation Day was a tradeoff for Thanksgiving.

Bailey Quarters: Forget it!

[nods, starts newscast]

Bailey Quarters: Good morning, Cincinnati, it's 10 AM and time for the news. I'm Bailey Quarters filling in for Les Nessman.

[reading from tear sheet:]

Bailey Quarters: Two bananas, wheat germ, and sixteen Vitamin C pills...

[realizes]

Bailey Quarters: More in a minute...

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Bailey Quarters: I planned my high school homecoming parade once, and all I can remember about that is... you never put the horses up front.

Venus Flytrap: Why not?

[realizes]

Venus Flytrap: Oh, yeah.

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Bailey Quarters: [snaps fingers] I'll bet all the other stations could help.

Herb Tarlek: Why should they?

Bailey Quarters: Well, if you were in competition with us, would you want us to lose Les?

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Jennifer Marlowe: Les, Mr. Carlson says you can go home now, or to the bathroom, whichever you'd like.

Les Nessman: Thank you, Jennifer.

Jennifer Marlowe: Goodnight, Les. Tomorrow will be a better day.

[shakes her head]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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