Mr. Garrison: Who knows what a can food drive is?
Eric Cartman: Isn't that where they cut open a chick's stomach to get the baby out?
Mr. Garrison: No that's a caesarian section, Eric, but remember there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Stan: [on the phone] Yeah, yeah; we want to adopt a starving Ethernopian.
Eric Cartman: When do we get the sports watch?
Stan: [annoyed] Just a second, fatass.
Eric Cartman: You Vas Deferens.
Stan: [continuing] Hello? No, it's a ma...
Stan: Vas Deferens?
[Kenny mumbles something, possibly about "peepee"]
[Kenny's family's dinner is a can of green beans]
Mrs. McCormick: Does anybody have a can opener?
Mr. McCormick: Goddammit.
Terrance: [dressed as pilgrims, standing in the snow] Gee, I sure am cold Phillip.
Phillip: Yes, and hungry too.
Terrance: Being a pilgrim totally sucks ass.
Phillip: I hope we don't starve.
Terrance: [farts] Ha ha ha ha ha.
Stan: [on the phone] Hello? Is this Sally Struthers?... Oh.
Kyle: What did she say?
Stan: Shut up, Butt-pirate, I'm trying to hear.
Trey Parker: You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
Cartman: See, this is what we call an all-you-can-eat buffet. Here you can eat all you want for just $6.99. That why everyone comes here on Tuesday nights, except for Kenny's family because for them, $6.99 is two year's income.
[after being taken away to Africa by the government]
[sees Sally Struthers eating a cake]
Cartman: Gimme that cake.
Sally Struthers: [mouth full] No, this is my cake.
Cartman: Sally Struthers, you give me that cake.
Sally Struthers: No, you can't have any.