New Tricks (2003–2015)
3 user

Painting on Loan 

Sir Tim is Surveyor of the Queen's Pictures. He discovers that some of the pictures in his charge are fakes. But they never used to be. Was his predecessor making money on the side?


Jamie Payne


Nick Fisher, Roy Mitchell (creator) | 1 more credit »


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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
Alun Armstrong ... Brian Lane
James Bolam ... Jack Halford
Amanda Redman ... Sandra Pullman
Dennis Waterman ... Gerry Standing
Chiké Okonkwo ... PC Clark
Nicholas Day ... Donald Bevan
Susan Jameson Susan Jameson ... Esther Lane
Anthony Head ... Sir Tim
Paul Copley ... Pat the Rat
Hattie Morahan ... Totty Vogel-Downing
Christine Kavanagh Christine Kavanagh ... Christine Hardy
Avril Elgar Avril Elgar ... Olive Risk
Max Cane ... Tubby
Ewen Cummins Ewen Cummins ... Fire Officer
Jayasree Kabir ... Sangita's Mother (as Jayasree Roy-Kabir)


Sir Timothy, curator of the Royal art collection, calls in UCOS when one of the paintings is found to be a fake. Art expert Totty Vogel-Downing pinpoints the forgery to have been created in 1978, apparently by a forger who killed himself after his studio was destroyed in an arson attack aimed at a Kurdish sweatshop. The arsonist, Pat the Rat, has connections with George Wilson, the criminal who effectively ended Gerry's career, and Gerry is taken off the case. However, he pursues his own enquiries, leading him to believe that, whilst he may charm Sandra, Sir Timothy is not all he seems to be. Written by don @ minifie-1

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Release Date:

8 April 2004 (UK) See more »

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Did You Know?


The painting lent to Sandra Pullman by Sir Tim is "Dieppe, 14 July 1905: Night" by John Duncan Fergusson. See more »


[first lines]
Gerry Standing: [to car salesman] There you go. Look registered with the Stag Owners Club. British steel. British upholstery. British craftsmanship. It's the last of the great British cars, this. Oh, look, look. Smell that leather. Go on, smell it.
Gerry Standing: [his mobile rings] Morning.
Sandra Pullman: [on phone] Where are you?
Gerry Standing: I'm on my way in now; I won't be long.
Sandra Pullman: What you wearing?
Gerry Standing: Pardon?
Sandra Pullman: What are you wearing?
Gerry Standing: Well, today I'm wearing boxers. Blue cotton. They're quite clingy, too. When I move I can feel them riding...
Sandra Pullman: Have ...
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It's Alright
Written by Mike Moran
Sung by Dennis Waterman
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User Reviews

'New Tricks', you have arrived!
7 January 2018 | by TheLittleSongbirdSee all my reviews

Have always been a big fan of detective/mystery shows from a fairly young age, well since starting secondary school.

'Inspector Morse', 'A Touch of Frost', 'Midsomer Murders' (in its prime), 'Law and Order', 'Inspector George Gently', 'Criminal Minds', 'Murder She Wrote', you name them to name a few. 'New Tricks' has also been a favourite from the start (despite not being the same without the original cast in recent years). Although it can be corny at times (in an endearing sort of way) it has always been perfect for helping me relax in the evenings. Something that was needed during all the hard times endured in school.

My review title is in no way putting down the very promising, and very good, pilot "The Chinese Job" and the decent, if too short, over-stuffed and rushed, first episode "ID Parade". There was a lot to recommend about both, more so "The Chinese Job". What is meant by the review title is that it's with "Painting on Loan" where 'New Tricks' hits its stride and feels more like the 'New Tricks' we are familiar with.

After the darker and grittier pilot and first episode, tonally "Painting on Loan" feels much more settled and the familiar mix of very funny, if sometimes corny, humour and serious crime solving and case better established. While still great before, the chemistry is more natural, something that is fitting as the team know each other more.

For me, "Painting on Loan's" only fault is that the criminal and to a slightly lesser extent the motive are too easy to figure out. More suspects wouldn't have gone amiss.

Visually, "Painting on Loan" looks lovely, with a brighter look but never garish and always slick and stylish. The music is a good fit and the theme song (sung with gusto by none other by Dennis Waterman himself) is one of the catchiest for any detective/mystery show and of any show in the past fifteen years or so.

Writing is intelligent, thought-provoking and classy, while also being very funny and high up in the entertainment value. This can be seen with as early on as Gerry and Sandra's phone exchange at the start, that is classic 'New Tricks' humour. The story is compelling, with its fair share of surprising twists, great use of the art setting and the art itself and lively, but never rushed, pacing. The obviousness of the final solution disappoints a little, but it is very interesting to see how the case is solved (that has always been part of the fun.

A huge part of 'New Tricks' appeal is the chemistry between the four leads and their performances. The chemistry is so easy going and charming.

One of the show's biggest delights is Alun Armstrong, achieves a perfect balance of funny comic timing and touching pathos which was maintained all the way up to his final episode. It is also lovely here to see his role in the team and skills appreciated more.

James Bolam's Jack is the quietest, most sensible and most composed of the team, with a tragic personal life that Bolam portrays very touchingly without any overwrought-ness.

The only woman on the team, Amanda Redman more than holds her own in what is essentially the boss role of the four. Dennis Waterman, here with much better material that actually serves a point and is fun, has very good comic timing while being serious when needed.

Nicholas Day (his authority and frustration being very believable), Anthony Head and Hattie Morahan fare best of the uniformly very good supporting cast.

In conclusion, great episode where things feel fully settled and established. 9/10 Bethany Cox

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