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The sinking of Sarah's shares
ShadeGrenade25 November 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Alan's latest conquest is Victoria ( Serena Gordon ). In what would become a running gag, it is revealed that he suffers from Premature Ejaculation. Sex for him barely lasts a minute. He has other problems too: Sarah has finally tired of their loveless marriage and wants a divorce. As her father runs the local Conservative Association, Alan cannot afford to lose her if he is to retain his Haltemprice seat. He thinks that she can not afford to live without him, only to then find out she has recently come into an inheritance - a million-dollar share in Ocelot Motors. Alan is forced to break into the Prime Minister's office ( with Piers in tow ) in the Commons to find the information needed to send the share value of the company plummeting...

A nice second episode. Sarah's hatred of Alan would be developed in later episodes. Victoria frightens Alan by revealing she does not take the pill, but as she does not reappear in the series we must assume she did not get pregnant. The splendid David Simeon makes the first of several appearances as 'P.C. Austin', a stiff, over-efficient copper. On catching Alan and Piers about to enter the P.M's office, he lets them pass out of gratitude for the new gun laws!

Things To Listen Out For: Alan enters Norman's hide-out by using the prescient code phrase: "Edwina Currie Likes It Hot & Spicy!". Don't tell me he slept with her as well...

Funniest moment - Alan telling P.C. Austin that truncheons are out of date. "My wife likes mine", says the copper, "It keeps her company when I'm on nights!".

Second funniest moment - Alan opening the P.M's desk to find a portrait of disgraced Tory M.P. Cecil Parkinson, and a copy of 'Spy Catcher' by ex-M15 officer Peter Wright, a book she banned in Britain in case it destroyed national security. The trouble was it could widely be bought just about everywhere else in the world...

Alan gets one of his finest moments. Not funny as such, but typical of the character. He rewards Piers for his loyalty with a gift - a brand new Ocelot Super Cat. Piers is thrilled, but ( and you knew this was coming, didn't you? ) there is a catch. As it is on hire from Hertz Piers must pay hundreds of pounds a day to keep the thing. "You're a b----d, Alan!", he bellows. B'Stard corrects his mispronounciation and leaves the car park, laughing.
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