Herman Munster: Good evening, all. Did I overhear my sweet little offshoot contemplating homicide?
Grandpa: A bully was picking on Eddie at school. Eddie just wants to massacre him.
Lily Munster: Eddie, you should always listen to your father, because under that sweet, boyish countenance, he has the wisdom and understanding of an Art Linkletter.
Grandpa: [rolling his eyes] Oh boy!
Jack McGinty: Next time I see you, I'm gonna tear your nose off and put it on backwards. When you sneeze, you'll blow your brains out!
Herman Munster: Eddie, as Sonny Liston said after his last fight: I think it's time to sit down and reevaluate our philosophy.
Eddie Munster: I thought you didn't like violence, pop?
Herman Munster: Well, I don't, son, but I think we should be prepaired at all times, and we don't want any more black eyes, do we?
Eddie Munster: Uhuh, if we don't do something by tomorrow, we'll run out of eyes.
Herman Munster: [shouting] Nobody calls me 'old droopy drawers' and gets away with it!