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Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj (2006) Poster

Quotes

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Pipp Everett, the Earl of Grey: Let's settle this the way my ancestors did!

[Reaches for the swords hanging on the wall]

Taj: You want to exploit me economically?

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Taj: As Mr. Van Wilder would say, "If you can't join them, beat them".

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Pipp Everett, the Earl of Grey: Roger, sometimes, the Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, likes to give a sliver of hope to the downtrodden and underprivileged to make up for their inferior haircuts and the fact they have to winter and summer in the same place.

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Seamus O'Toole: What did you say your name was again?

Taj Badalandabad: Taj Badalandabad, your new head of house.

Seamus O'Toole: Taj Badalandabad. That's a quite a tongue-twister.

Taj Badalandabad: It's not that hard to say. You got it right.

Seamus O'Toole: Yeah, but I've been drinking all day.

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Taj: verticle smile, scrambled eggs between the legs, sunny side up on the way to the butt

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Woman on Plane: Excuse me, is that Madamendira Bombay Hot Sauce?

Taj: No way, you know it?

Woman on Plane: I have this... thing for spices.

Taj: You have a TING?

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Sadie: [staring at Simon's 11 inches] I'm surprised you don't get out more.

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Sadie: No, Taj - I was talking about her vagina!

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Gethin: Sadie, this is Taj Badalandabad, our new head of house.

Sadie: Alright me ol' mucker, have a shake then I ain't got the clap or nothing.

Gethin: She means Handshake.

Taj: Of course, of course, Hi.

Gethin: Sadie is a cockney. It takes time to understand her words, they fit in her mouth funny.

Taj: Lucky words. You enjoying your time at Camford, Sadie?

Sadie: Yeah, It's alright. Blokes here are a bit stuffy here though. I mean I never thought it would be so hard finding someone worth slapping the ol' panhandle. You know, giving a blowjob. Nothing like getting your tongue around a nice fat one. Sliding it in, and out, in, and out, in, and out, in, and out. Milking it like a cow until it explodes in the back of your mouth.

Taj: Wow, I must have an amazing ear for dialects. I understood everything she said perfectly!

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Taj: A surprise in the woods? Well, can you give me a second? Let me go repack my wallet real quick.

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[repeated line]

Pipp Everett, the Earl of Grey: Can somebody get me a tidy-wipe?

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Seamus: [offering Taj liquor] I'm sorry I lumped you in the face, mate. Fancy a sneaky quick one?

Taj: No, no, no. I think you've given me enough sneaky quick ones for the day. Thank you, Seamus.

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Taj: Simon?

Simon: I have... I have a problem.

Taj: [to the other guys] Oh, my God, he's talking. Well, Simon, whatever you problem is, we're your friends, you can tell us.

Simon: Well, you wee, it's to do with the size of my piddler.

Taj: Your... Oh. Well, you know, it's an understood fact that a man's piddler is... Appears smaller to himself than it is in real life.

Simon: Well, you see, that's what I'm afraid of. 'Cause according to me it has some 11 inches.

Taj: Come again? Figuratively.

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