Ben Gates: [as he's taking off his diving suit to reveal his tuxedo] Maybe one day I'll wear this to a party I'm actually invited to.
Riley Poole: We have thirty seconds to disable the alarm.
Ben Gates: Go.
[Ben and Riley break into a house and Riley disables the alarm]
Ben Gates: You did that in twenty-five seconds.
Riley Poole: That's why I tell people to get a dog.
Emily Appleton: [as Ben is reaching into a rock] This could be a horrible trap.
Emily Appleton: Tell him it could be a horrible trap.
Patrick Gates: It could be a horrible trap.
Ben Gates: [Ben begins screaming in pain, everyone else recoils] Sorry couldn't resist.
Ben Gates: [in the service elevator, Ben is holding a bouquet of flowers] You're wearing the perfume I got you.
Abigail Chase: So?
Ben Gates: So I think it smells kind of pretty.
Abigail Chase: It's the flowers, Ben.
Ben Gates: [batting his eyelashes] No it's not.
US President: Even if something like that really did exist, why do you think I would actually just give it to you?
Ben Gates: Because it will probably lead us to the discovery of the greatest Native-American treasure of all time; a huge piece of culture lost. You can give that history back to its descendants. And because you're the President of the United States, sir. Whether by innate character or the oath you took to defend the Constitution or the weight of history that falls upon you, I believe you to be an honorable man, sir.
US President: Gates, people don't believe that stuff anymore.
Ben Gates: They want to believe it.
Riley Poole: [seeing several police pulling up to the building] Oh look. My tax dollars at work, coming to arrest me.
Patrick Gates: So the only question is, which Statue of Liberty?
Riley Poole: Exactly. Wait, is there more than one?
Patrick Gates: There are three, actually, Riley. One is in New York, one is in Luxembourg Garden.
Ben Gates: But he only referred to one as his "lady."
Ben Gates: Before the Civil War, the states were all separate. People used to say "United States are." Wasn't until the war ended, people started saying "The United States is." Under Lincoln, we became one nation.
Patrick Gates: And Lincoln paid for it with his life.
Ben Gates: So did Thomas Gates.
Patrick Gates: Right.
Ben Gates: With his life.
FBI Agent Hendricks: [holding a newspaper, walking up to Sadusky] Sir, it looks like our friend Ben Gates is in the news again.
Sadusky: What did he find now, Atlantis?
Ben Gates: I'm gonna kidnap him. I'm gonna kidnap the President of the United States.
Riley Poole: Wouldn't it just have been easier to make an appointment?
Ben Gates: [in security lock-up in Buckingham Palace] So when did you realize it was a fake argument?
Abigail Chase: When did you realize that I was actually arguing during the fake argument?
Ben Gates: Right in the middle there, at the part where I'm always wrong. Which I don't understand, because when I assume I'm right, and it turns out my assumption is correct, how is that wrong?
Abigail Chase: When you make a decision without asking me, and you *happen* to be right, you got lucky.
Ben Gates: [long pause] Well, I get lucky a lot.
US President: Did you get the chance to look at page 47?
Ben Gates: Yes, sir.
US President: And?
Ben Gates: I think I can help you with that, sir.
US President: So it's good?
Ben Gates: Life-altering, sir.
[Ben and the President walk of together]
Riley Poole: Page 47? Wait, are you talking about the book?
US President: Book? What book?
Riley Poole: [to Ben] Do you know what the taxes are on 5 million dollars? 6 million dollars.
Sadusky: [to Ben] Your friend writes a book about government conspiricies and you think we don't know about it?
Ben Gates: Someone else is after the treasure.
Riley Poole: Of course someone else is after the treasure. It's the axiom of treasure hunting.
Riley Poole: So let's recap: We've broken into Buckingham Palace, and the Oval Office, stolen a page from the President's super-secret book, and actually kidnapped the President of the United States. What are we gonna do next, short-sheet the Pope's bed?
Ben Gates: Well, you never know.
Ben Gates: The past is filled with incredible mysteries. The clues to solving them are all around, hidden in plain sight. But this story begins with the most famous assassination in history. Abraham Lincoln's killer, John Wilkes Booth, kept a diary. A diary that was found the night Booth was killed, with 18 pages missing. Concealed in those pages is the key to something much, much bigger. A conspiracy that crosses the globe, and a discovery that the world isn't ready to believe.
Sadusky: There is a book and it has the information you need. The President's Book of Secrets. A collection of documents for President's eyes only. The truth behind the JFK conspiracy. The missing minutes from the Watergate tapes. And of course, Area 51.
Ben Gates: It contains all of our nation's secrets. I need to see that book.
Sadusky: The only way you'll ever see that book is if you get elected President.
US President: The book exists, but you are now number one on the NSA, the CIA, and the FBI's most wanted list.
Ben Gates: All I need is a few minutes with the President.
Abigail Chase: The Secret Service is never gonna leave you alone with the President.
Ben Gates: Well, you never know.
Abigail Chase: Okay, I've been doing the math here, and...
Ben Gates: I know. One of us is going to have to stay behind.
Riley Poole: I've been doing the math too... just promise you'll come back for me.
[in a high pitched voice]
Riley Poole: Riley! No Riley! We won't leave you behind!
[back to his normal voice]
Riley Poole: No, I'm just kidding. Just go.
Patrick Gates: [speaking to Abigail while gesturing at Emily] She fell in love with me on a treasure hunt!
Emily Appleton: That was not love - that was excitement, adrenaline, and tequila! Besides, I needed the course credit.
Abigail Chase: So, the tea tables?
Ben Gates: Yes, I was going to have the movers bring them to you next week.
Abigail Chase: Actually, I was going to say you could keep them. And maybe you could come and move back in with me?
Ben Gates: No, you used the word "so."
Abigail Chase: So?
Ben Gates: So when you say "so" it means you're angry.
Abigail Chase: Sometimes. And then sometimes it doesn't. It's sort of like a puzzle. And you're so good at puzzles I'm sure you'll figure it out. So.
Ben Gates: Riley, how fast can we get to Buckingham Palace?
Riley Poole: [sarcastically] I don't know, why don't you ask your new best friend.
Ben Gates: [calling Patrick on his cell phone] Dad.
Patrick Gates: Ben. Get out of there. I had to move the car. There's FBI and Secret Service all over the place.
Ben Gates: Calm down. I sent a picture of the plank to your cell phone.
Patrick Gates: [surprised] You can do that?
Ben Gates: Yes, I can do that. Did you get it?
Patrick Gates: [recieving Ben's picture] I got it.
Ben Gates: Look. Take it to Mom for translation.
Patrick Gates: Why me?
Seth: [recieving Ben's picture] Did he say his mom could translate the plank?
Mitch Wilkinson: Find out who she is.
Ben Gates: Where's the phone?
Patrick Gates: I don't know, son. I can't find anything in this mess.
Ben Gates: It's only temporary 'til I can find a new place.
Patrick Gates: Find the old one. I like her!
Ben Gates: [reading President's Secret Book] Here's the final entry by President Coolidge. "1924 - I found a plank in secret desk compartment. Plank photographed and then destroyed. Borglum commissioned to destroy landmarks in sacred Black Hills mountains."
Abigail Chase: Borglum... Mount Rushmore?
Ben Gates: He carved Mount Rushmore, to erase the map's landmarks, in order to protect the City of Gold.
Riley Poole: [muttering] Mount Rushmore was a cover-up.
Abigail Chase: [scoffs] Ah, come on, Riley. That's, that's urban legends.
Riley Poole: Is it Abigail? Is it?
Abigail Chase: It's just totally...
Riley Poole: Crazy?
Abigail Chase: Yeah!
Riley Poole: Hmmm, 'Cause the last time I checked, we pretty much make our living on "crazy."
Ben Gates: [reading the book] He's got a point.
Riley Poole: Look at it this way - in a hundred years, no one is gonna remember anyone involved in the Lincoln assassination besides Booth.
Ben Gates: That's not true. Do you know the expression "His name is mud?"
Riley Poole: Yes, of course.
Ben Gates: You do? Do you know the origin of the expression?
Riley Poole: Does anyone but you?
Ben Gates: Dr. Samuel Mudd was convicted of being a co-conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. The evidence was circumstantial, he was later pardoned, but it didn't matter. Mudd's name still lives in infamy, and I will not let Thomas Gates' name be mud.
Ben Gates: [after an argument with Lincoln Conspiracy Kid] What is going on with the education in America?
By-Stander at Ford Theater: President Lincoln's been shot!
[as John Wilkes Booth is running away]
Mitch Wilkinson: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, one of the missing pages of the diary of John Wilkes Booth.
Ben Gates: [to the President] This symbol designates the secret tunnel that will lead us to the greatest treasure of all time.
US President: [Ben, Riley, Abigail and company have discovered the City of Gold] All of you will get credit for this discovery.
Ben Gates: Thank you.
Abigail Chase: Thank you.
Riley Poole: [nervously] Heh...
Abigail Chase: Just because you may know what my answer is going to be, doesn't mean you don't have to ask me.
Patrick Gates: [after being told the clues] The resolute desk. *The* resolute desk? The President's desk?
Riley Poole: [nervously] The President? Which President? Our President?
Abigail Chase: [sighing] Unfortunately, yes.
Riley Poole: [still nervous] But that means, so we have to... the White House?
Ben Gates: The Oval Office, to be exact.
Patrick Gates: [beat] Why would I overreact to that?
Ben Gates: [thoughtful, looks at his hand] Surrender your hand to the heart of the warrior...
[prepares to stick his hand in]
Emily Appleton: Wait, Ben, this could be a horrible trap.
Emily Appleton: Tell him this could be a horrible trap.
Patrick Gates: This could be a horrible trap.
Ben Gates: [sticks his hand in slowly and then screams. Starts laughing] I'm- I am sorry. I couldn't resist.
[Abigail pushes him]
Ben Gates: [Riley comes walking home] Where's the Ferrari?
Riley Poole: IRS impounded it.
Ben Gates: The IRS?
Riley Poole: Funny story. My accountant set up a corporation on an island that didn't exist and assured me that that's how rich people do it. Then I got audited and slapped with a huge fine plus interest! Wanna know what taxes are on five millions dollars? Six million dollars. But enough about me.
Riley Poole: What's new with you?
Ben Gates: Well, my girlfriend kicked me out, I'm living with my dad and my family killed President Lincoln.
Riley Poole: [smiles sarcastically] Alright!
Ben Gates: I need your help.
Riley Poole: The last time I checked, we make our living off crazy.
Mitch Wilkinson: A man has only one life time. But history can remember you forever.
Riley Poole: [looking at the helicopter over head] Is that for us?
[spotlight trains on them]
Riley Poole: Oh, hello!
Mitch Wilkinson: Your great-great granddaddy planned the assassination of President Lincoln.
Patrick Gates: It can't be.
Riley Poole: [while trying to convince them of a conspiracy theory] Ben, if it were you trying to convince me, you'd have less evidence and I'd already believe you by now.
Riley Poole: Mitch, we gotta be on the other side of that door!
Mitch Wilkinson: Nobody leaves unless I say so! That doors not going to stay open by itself. We both know what has to happen here Ben.
Ben Gates: One of us keeps the door open, and stays behind.
Riley Poole: I vote Mitch!
Mitch Wilkinson: This isn't a democracy.
[Mitch punches Ben and Riley in the face then holds a knife to Abigails' throat]
Ben Gates: Wait! Stop! I'll stay!
Riley Poole: [while disarming the security systems] Now I know I'll probably regret asking this, but what happened with you and Abigail?
Ben Gates: I don't know, you know? I don't know. She started using the word "so" alot.
Riley Poole: So?
Ben Gates: [continues] Yeah, like "so, I guess my opinion doesn't matter", "so, you seem to always know what's best", "SO, I guess I'm invisible" and now I've moved out, and we're dividing the furniture.
Riley Poole: [finishes the deactivation] Women. Can't live with 'em, especially if they change the alarm codes.
Riley Poole: [after narrowly escaping capture at the Library of Congress] That did not turn out the way it was supposed to!
Abigail Chase: How'd they find us so quick?
Riley Poole: I'll tell you how! The president's a tattletale!
Ben Gates: Sadusky, he was there. He knows more about the book than I thought.
Abigail Chase: How did the President feel about being kidnapped?
Ben Gates: He was okay.
Abigail Chase: [encountering Ben on her way up the stairs] Ben.
Ben Gates: Abigail.
Riley Poole: [in a bathroom] Abigail? What's she doing here?
Ben Gates: What are you doing here?
Abigail Chase: You're dad called me. He said your next clue was here.
Riley Poole: She's really there?
Abigail Chase: Look, Ben...
Riley Poole: Drop her. Lose her.
Abigail Chase: I want to help.
Ben Gates: Well, that's very nice, but it's kind off a bad time right now.
Abigail Chase: A bad time, right now?
Ben Gates: It's a bad time.
Abigail Chase: Okay, I-I just flew all the way to London to offer my help, and you don't need it?
Ben Gates: You're the one that's making a scene right now.
Abigail Chase: I- I'm not making a scene right now!
Riley Poole: No, we want to make a scene.
Ben Gates: WELL, THEN FINE! IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, THEN LET'S HAVE IT OUT RIGHT NOW!
Riley Poole: Ah, so subtle.
Abigail Chase: [barely audible] Ben, what are you...?
Ben Gates: OH, LET ME GUESS! IT'S THE WRONG TIME! IT'S THE WRONG PLACE! I'M WRONG AGAIN!
[stompping down the stairs]
Ben Gates: WRONG ABOUT US! WRONG ABOUT THOMAS GATES! WRONG THAT YOU'D LIKE THE QUEEN ANNE CHAIR!
Abigail Chase: You're wrong to assume I'd like the chair!
Ben Gates: [to a bunch of bystanders on the staircase] You see? You see? Everyone listen to this. This is more interesting than that. She thinks that even when I'm right, I'm wrong, isn't that right? Abigail, just because I answer a question quickly, doesn't make it wrong.
Abigail Chase: Not if the right answer is something we need to figure out as a couple. That's what couples do.
Palace Guard Sholder: [the noise has attracted a security guard] Sir. You and your missus, take it outside.
Ben Gates: Oh, now look what you've done. You've brought the little bobbies down on us. You take the missus outside. I'm staying right here.
[rides down the banister like a kid and is stopped by another guard]
Palace Guard Haggis: Good afternoon, sir.
Ben Gates: [in British accent] 'Ello.
Palace Guard Haggis: [smelling alcohol on Ben] Been drinking, have we?
Ben Gates: Just a nip. Popped down to the pub for a pint. But of all right. Going to arrest a man for that? Going to detain a blighter for enjoying his whiskey?
Palace Guard Haggis: That's enough, sir.
Ben Gates: Bangers and mash. Bubbles and squeak. Smoke eel pipe.
Palace Guard Haggis: Sir.
Ben Gates: HAGGIS!
Palace Guard Haggis: That's it! Dismount the banister!
Ben Gates: [shouting, singing] I've got a bunch of lovely coconuts! Here they, are standing in a row! Small ones, big ones, some as big as your head!
Riley Poole: That was brilliant.
Ben Gates: This book can prove my grandfather's innocence.
Ben Gates: [underground in the Hall of Records in Mt. Rushmore] Riley, what do you see?
Riley Poole: [balancing on the giant over turned engraved slab, looking down at an open grave] Death and despair! Mostly death. Uh, I mean a little despair, the last few seconds. But then a hard, sudden death.
Ben Gates: We cannot have him remembered as a conspirator in the assassination of the man that brought this nation together.
Abigail Chase: [Mitch is calling Abigail on her cell phone] It's him.
Riley Poole: You have his number on speed dial?
Abigail Chase: Oh, shut...
Ben Gates: [answering Abigail's phone] Mitch, this has got to end before someone gets hurt.
Mitch Wilkinson: Just give me what you got at Buckhingham Palace, it won't be necessary.
Ben Gates: Tell that to my father.
Riley Poole: [while sitting in a Buckingham Palace bathroom, he is hacked into the security cameras and sees the guard that detained Ben and Abigail walking to the cell they escaped from] Uh-oh. Mayday. Mayday. Ben, get out of there.
Patrick Gates: [talking to Ben about Wilkinson] You've got to find where that leads before they do!
Emily Appleton: But Ben, it could contain something dangerous!
Ben Gates: [puts hand between rocks] Aaahhh!... I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
Patrick Gates: What is it about treasure that makes history so fascinating?
Emily Appleton: All this doesn't involve another treasure hunt, does it?
Ben Gates: Oh, no...
Emily Appleton: And so it begins, another Gates family quest.
Emily Appleton: You're a treasure hunter, aren't you?
Mitch Wilkinson: I'm just a man, trying to make his mark on history.
Ben Gates: [about the book he is reading] This doesn't make any sense.
Riley Poole: [beat] As if these clues ever do.
Riley Poole: [Riley and Ben are standing by Abigail and her date] Awkward!
Riley Poole: [over hearing Ben and Abigail's argument] You guys are so great together.