The O.C. (2003–2007)
Rachel Bilson: Summer Roberts
Marissa : Hey, how come you're the brains? I'm the one who talked us back into that club.
Seth : I'm sorry. I'm the brains.
Ryan : You can be the beauty.
Marissa : Okay, thanks.
Summer : Great, and what am I, Cohen?
Seth : Uh, the boobs?
[Summer hits him]
Seth : Uh, the bitch?
Summer : Okay, I'll take the boobs.
Seth : Hey. So will I.
Seth : [later]
Marissa : See, I think I should be the brains.
Ryan : No, Seth's the brains.
Marissa : Well, you're clearly not the beauty.
Ryan : Ooooh, and now someone's the bitch.
Taylor Townsend : You know, it is so great that you guys have each other.
Summer : [confused] Thanks.
Taylor Townsend : 'Cause everyone knows that Marissa was the popular one, and Seth, no judgment, but it's not like you got any cooler in the last two years. I mean, everyone just acted that way because they were afraid of Ryan Atwood. I mean, even as a senior, you're still pretty much the biggest geek in Newport.
Summer : [cuts Taylor off] Oh-ho, no. All right, listen to me, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a really nice voice, doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank!
Marissa : So, my mum's trying to drag me to cardio bar again. It's her idea of mother-daughter bonding.
Summer : Cardio bar, Coop?
Marissa : Well, she says it's the new Taibo. So maybe I can learn to kick her ass.
Summer : I don't think you need to do any more cardio.
Marissa : What's that supposed to mean?
Summer : Nothing. It's just that - well and I mean this in the least scandalous way but you're looking a little thin.
Marissa : I eat!
Summer : Ugh, this bikini is so uncomfortable. I need to go get a new one. You want to go to South Coast?
Marissa : Totally. There's a Paul Frank sale there on Wednesday.
Summer : Wednesday? I can't. I have plans with Zach.
Marissa : Oh, more plans with Zach, huh?
Summer : Yes. The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about - God, what's his face? Built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him till the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
Marissa : Seth. His name. It's Seth.
Summer : I know. I'm just doing that thing where I pretend I don't and I have to use a lot of descriptive insults to give voice to my inner pain.
Summer : No, see Zach and I? We're just hanging out. He is not my boyfriend. I do not want a boyfriend, okay. I had a boyfriend, he sailed away.
Summer : [after Taylor has tricked Summer into giving up Social Chair position] Just so you know, you and your friend the Dean may have won this round, but the war is not over.
Taylor Townsend : Well, unless you have an exit strategy, don't even get out of the boat. I am a human quagmire.
Summer : [tries to look unruffled, then stops random passing student] What's a quagmire?
[student ignores her and walks away]
Summer : Hello?
[to entire hallway]
Summer : What's a quagmire?
Summer : You just gotta get right back on that horse, Coop. You gotta giddy up, horsy!
Summer : Your comic has turned these two idiots into idiots.
Summer : I'm sorry I don't get references before 1990.
Summer : [after Summer and Seth have tricked Taylor into revealing her affair with Dean Hess] Hey, skank.
Seth : You were expecting someone taller? Blonder, with a pageboy haircut?
Summer : Welcome to the Terradome, Townsend. You're busted.
Taylor Townsend : [smugly] For what, exactly?
Summer : Hmm. A little extracurricular activity with Dean Hess? Yeah. I saw you two making out at the dance.
Taylor Townsend : [smugly] So what if we did?
Seth : [stumped, to Summer] She makes one hell of a poker player. I mean, she's pretty good.
Summer : Yeah, well, unless you and the Dean want this little thingamajig...
Seth : [corrects Summer] Indiscretion.
Summer : - to go public, we have a few demands. Don't we?
Seth : Yeah.
Summer : Starting with the lifting of the ban of Ryan Atwood from Harbor.
Taylor Townsend : [indifferent] You can go ahead and tell anyone you want. No-one's going to believe you.
Seth : [frustrated] She's like a block of ice.
Summer : You willing to bet your squeaky little reputation on that, Taylor trash? 'Cause I've got a *huge* mouth and an even bigger buddy list. Mmm-hmm.
[whips out Sidekick]
Summer : See this right here? Sidekick. Walkie-talkie of the twenty-first century. Who should we radio first?
Seth : How about my dad?
Summer : Yeah. 10-4, good buddy. So what's it going to be? You can either tell Seth's dad the perverted truth and save your sorry ass, or you can roll the dice. Over and out.
Summer : You know, Cohen, with your two hands on the wheel and the wind blowing through your hair
[looks at Seth, nods]
Summer : you actually looked kinda hot.
Seth : Let me guess, Summer, you have a
Seth : weakness for seamen.
Summer : [screws up her face] Ewww Cohen, and then there's that.
Seth : Nah, aww.
Summer : Where other than the Bait Shop are tickets always plentiful and the band never too loud to talk over?