Man of the House (I) (2005)
Paula Garcés: Teresa
Teresa : [Sharp has a pizza delivered at dinner, while the girls all have homemade salads] What is that?
Roland Sharp : The Carnivore. Pepperoni, sausage, ground beef, ham and olive loaf all gathered together in one savory pie. With jalepenos. Want some?
Heather : Yes. No!
Roland Sharp : Extra thick crust.
Anne : I can't, I'm on the zone.
Roland Sharp : What zone?
Anne : The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
Roland Sharp : This combination here is proper as hell.
Barb : I'm a total Atkins girl.
Evie : I'm on Weight Watchers, you'll probably blow all your daily points with just one bite.
Roland Sharp : This baby has one point and one point only, and that is tasting good.
Roland Sharp : [yelling at the radio] Why do you find it necessary to listen to this constant *crap*?
Anne : What's the matter? You don't like vagina music?
Roland Sharp : Do you have to use that word before I've had my coffee and soymilk?
Anne : [mocking him] Vagina, vagina, *vagina*!
Teresa : [walks in room] Whose?
Roland Sharp : Furthermore, I'd appreciate it if you'd cover yourselves in our presence. I realize how very proud you are... of your tattoos, piercings, and other body modifications. However, my colleagues and I do not need to see these! Are there any questions?
Teresa : I have one. Are you always such a dick?
Roland Sharp : Yes!
Teresa : I have to have my baby in America!
Teresa : I'll tell you something about this daughter of yours that you know nothing about, she must be severely messed up in the head from living with you.
Roland Sharp : She lives with her mother.
Evie : Why did your marriage fall apart?
Roland Sharp : That is one of many things you and I will never discuss.
Teresa : [advising Roland] Remember, a woman is like a horse. She likes to know that the guy on the saddle has a tight grip on the reins.
Heather : [frowns] Excuse me, a woman is not a horse.
Heather : Just be yourself.
Anne : [smiling] I'm not so sure that being himself is going in the right direction.