Alias (TV Series 2001–2006) Poster

(2001–2006)

Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn

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Quotes 

  • [talking about Sydney] 

    Weiss : So she gave you a drawer, huh?

    Vaughn : It was a gesture of convenience.

    Weiss : And, uh, what did you put it in?

    Vaughn : Why do you care?

    Weiss : What do you mean, why do I care? Do you know how spoiled you are? You know, a drawer! I wish I had a girlfriend to say 'Hey, do you want a drawer?'

    Vaughn : I'll give you a drawer at my place.

    Weiss : I don't want a drawer at your place.

  • Sydney : Is something wrong?

    Vaughn : No. I'm just getting old, I guess.

    Sydney : You expect me to believe that?

    Vaughn : I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all. It'll pass.

    Sydney : Yesterday was the day, wasn't it? The anniversary of your father's death?

    Vaughn : How could you remember that?

    Sydney : I remember what missing him does to you.

  • Vaughn : Even though everything's changed... some things don't... I'm not going to lose you twice.

  • Vaughn : I'm going to say something, and it will either be obvious to you or seem presumptuous, either way I'm going to say it. This isn't working. I've been thinking about this for a while, I don't know what the hell to do.

    Sydney : What?

    Vaughn : I think you know what.

    Sydney : I need you to tell me.

    Vaughn : You need me to tell you what, that when you're on operations I can't sleep at night, that when we're in debrief I have to force myself to remember what the hell we're supposed to be reviewing when all I want to do is kiss you.

    Sydney : Sometimes it is hard to remember what we're supposed to be talking about.

    Vaughn : That's what I'm talking about, and the thing that drives me insane every day is that the people who would kill us if we were ever seen together-the Alliance, SD-6, Sloane, are the very forces that brought you into my life. What kind of a sick joke is that?

    Sydney : So what are you thinking, that maybe we shouldn't be working together?

    Vaughn : Yes, that was what I was thinking, but we're great together, and the more we work together the sooner the Alliance gets destroyed.

    Sydney : So, what are you suggesting?

    [Agent Weiss interrupts] 

  • Sydney : Vaughn?

    Vaughn : How come you never call me Michael?

    Sydney : I call you Michael sometimes.

    [pause] 

    Sydney : Vaughn.

  • [Sydney and Vaughn walk into Syd's apartment, Vaughn's cell phone rings] 

    Vaughn : Hello?

    Agent Eric Weiss : Hey, Kendall has something he wants to show you.

    Vaughn : Ah, can it wait?

    Agent Eric Weiss : Apparently not, he wants to Sydney too. Are you with her?

    Vaughn : Ah, no. I haven't seen her.

    Agent Eric Weiss : You're in bed with her right now, aren't you?

    Vaughn : Trying. Just find out what he wants.

  • Vaughn : [to Sydney]  When you're at your absolute lowest, at your most depressed, just remember that you can always... you know. You got my number.

  • Vaughn : [smashes Sark's face into a table]  See, when I have a gun, I don't just pull the trigger.

    Sark : Thank you.

    Vaughn : [smashes Sark's face again]  Where's Sloane?

    Sark : Not a problem; my loyalties are flexible.

  • Vaughn : This watch belonged to my father. It's broken now, but it used to keep perfect time. And when he gave it to me, he said you could set your heart by this watch. It stopped October 1st. The day we met.

    Sydney : Me too.

  • [Vaughn and Weiss watch as a sleazy bad guy leers at Sydney while she's in disguise as a prostitute] 

    Vaughn : That son of a bitch!

    Weiss : Easy, come on.

    Vaughn : I swear I'm gonna to kill this guy.

    Weiss : There's no way that guy smells as good as you do.

    Vaughn : It's aftershave, I got a new aftershave.

    Weiss : Yeah, well, I'd lighten up on it a little.

    Vaughn : Yeah?

    Weiss : Oh yeah. To the point of non-use.

  • Agent Eric Weiss : Did you ever stop to think that the reason you and Sydney work so well together is because of the feelings you have for each other?

    [pause] 

    Agent Eric Weiss : How's that for spin?

    Vaughn : Pretty good.

  • Vaughn : Are you romantically interested in anyone?

    [She looks at him weirdly] 

    Vaughn : It could be a question.

    Sydney : No, I'm not.

    [Machine jumps to 56] 

    Vaughn : Interesting.

    Sydney : Wait, ask me that again.

    Vaughn : No, I don't have to. We have our answer right here. That's very good. Moving on.

  • Kendall : Just so we're clear, Mr. Vaughn, I know all about your participation in busting Agent Bristow out of federal custody. Convince her to talk to her mother, or face charges of obstructing justice and harboring a fugitive.

    Vaughn : Guess it's two-for-one day on blackmail.

  • Sark : Put the gun down, Agent Vaughn. Drop the gun.

    Vaughn : Not a chance, you drop yours.

    Sark : Put the gun down now.

    Sydney : No, Vaughn, don't!

    Sark : Drop it. If you love her, you will put the gun down now.

    [Masked figure looks at Vaughn] 

    Sydney : Vaughn, don't!

    [Vaughn drops the gun] 

  • Vaughn : I hate you but I love Sydney more, thats the only reason you're not dying tonight.

  • Sydney : Hi. How did you find me?

    Vaughn : You told me a couple of months ago that when you feel the need to disappear, you go to the observatory. But the observatory was closed. And then I remembered you said the pier calms you down. But you weren't there. And you weren't at the bluffs and the palisades, either.

    Sydney : You didn't really go to all those places.

    Vaughn : Yeah, I did. And then I remembered you liked the train station, too. Normal people going to their normal jobs.

    Sydney : I can't believe you remember that.

  • Weiss : Hey, you sure you don't want to talk about this?

    Vaughn : There's nothing to talk about.

    Weiss : I share my fights with you.

    Vaughn : No you don't.

    Weiss : Yeah I do. Remember when Alan pissed in the living room?

    Vaughn : That was your dog!

    Weiss : Yeah, but I was angry about it and I let you know how upset I was.

  • [Marshall is offered a job with the real CIA] 

    Vaughn : Hi, I'm Michael Vaughn. Welcome to the CIA.

    Agent Marshall Flinkman : Uh, yeah I've heard that one before.

  • Vaughn : [to Sydney]  No, but, what you said about wanting to go to a hockey game... wanting me to be part of your life... I think I wasn't clear about something. That it would be nice to be in public with you, to actually get to look at you. Grab a pizza or go to a hockey game. I just... I wasn't clear that I would really like that, too.

  • Sydney : You didn't think about it. Not once. The possibility that Rambaldi could be right about me.

    Vaughn : No. I didn't.

    Sydney : Why not?

    Vaughn : Because I believe in you. Do you think I'd just throw anyone in my trunk?

  • [Weiss has just prompted Vaughn to finally ask Sydney out on a date while on a mission in Nice] 

    Weiss : And?

    Vaughn : We're going to dinner.

    [Weiss breaks into a celebratory dance] 

    Vaughn : I'm going to keep my comm channel open. I need you to monitor the RF frequency.

    Weiss : Got it. Okay, in exchange I get an eclair.

    Vaughn : No, I'm serious, any suspect signal and I want to know about it. Anything.

    Weiss : If they're small, bring at least two!

  • Weiss : Okay, whenever you want to have that talk...

    Vaughn : What talk?

    Weiss : About the cologne or whatever the hell you're wearing.

    Vaughn : I'm not wearing cologne.

    Weiss : Well, something's going on. No man naturally smells as good as you do right now.

  • Sydney : [after Vaughn kisses her]  Dinner's ready.

    Vaughn : You do have an oven you know, we can reheat.

  • [Sydney and Vaughn are returning to the US from a mission in Russia] 

    Vaughn : You know, we have operational command of this aircraft. The pilot could take us anywhere we want...

    Sydney : [playfully scolding]  Our orders are to proceed with our extraction. If we were divert this aircraft for our personal use, we would get into a lot of trouble.

    Vaughn : Yes.

    Sydney : [disappointed]  Yeah...

    Vaughn : Wanna have dinner with me in Paris?

    Sydney : [without hesitating]  Absolutely.

    [they kiss] 

  • Sydney : You know any jokes? Because I could use one.

    Vaughn : This grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." And the grasshopper says...

    Sydney : You have a drink named Doug?

    Vaughn : Well, I was gonna use Phil.

  • Haladki : I think your judgment is impaired.

    Vaughn : I think I'm going to kick your ass.

  • [Vaughn is watching Syndey seduce an obese enemy agent] 

    Vaughn : I'm going to kill that guy.

  • [after Sydney asks if he is married] 

    Vaughn : Wife? I don't have a wife. You thought I was married this whole time?

  • Vaughn : Yeah... I'll break into the Vatican with you.

  • Jack : I used to think you didn't have much of a spine.

    Vaughn : Has that assessment changed at all?

    Jack : No.

  • Marshall : You've got the looks. I've got the brains.

    Vaughn : I've got the looks? You've got the brains?

  • Vaughn : You asked me some questions. I told you I'd answer them if you helped me. You did help me. And I thank you for that.

    Irina : I didn't do it for you.

    Vaughn : I'm trying to live a normal life... which was always hard, given what I do. But it's gotten harder since I met your daughter. It's not that knowing her hasn't made my life better. It has. But it's also made it that much worse... I think I've said enough.

    Irina : The problem, Mr. Vaughn... Is that to the one person who matters... You haven't said anything at all.

    Vaughn : Listen, this may not mean anything to you, this may not be something you understand, or appreciate, but we have rules. Very clear, important rules that govern the relationship between a handler and his asset.

    Irina : And between a man and a woman?

  • Vaughn : I've... I've got this aunt, umm, Aunt Trish. She's the insane one in the family. She uh speaks to the dead, goes to readings, uh, she's a crop circle worshipper.

    Sydney : Aunt Trish

    Vaughn : Yeah. This whole Rambaldi thing reminds me of something she would tell me about.

  • [Vaughn is beating a punching bag, obviously angry] 

    Agent Eric Weiss : The bag is dead, I think you can stop now.

    Vaughn : Thanks for coming.

    Agent Eric Weiss : Thanks for sweating.

  • Vaughn : Half a can only. I don't want to come back to a fat dog.

  • Vaughn : Now, the guys say it's bitchin, so I assume it's... bitchin.

  • Vaughn : You just threw your pager into the Pacific.

    Sydney : I know.

  • Vaughn : So, I was thinking, later tonight when we get the code key, maybe we can check it out?

    Sydney : What, the restaurant?

    Vaughn : Yeah. Well, it's almost too good not to.

    Sydney : Unless SD-6 spots us there and has us killed.

    Vaughn : Well, the food's so good it's almost worth the risk.

  • Vaughn : Uh, I don't have an easy answer to that.

    Kendall : I'll take a complicated one.

  • Vaughn : I hate you - but I love Sydney more. Which is why you're not dying tonight.

  • Irina : [Vaughn has come to ask a favor of Irina]  Tell me how you feel about my daughter.

    Vaughn : That's none of your business.

    Irina : Are you in love with her?

    Vaughn : I don't know why that matters.

    Irina : [cutting him off]  I don't have the advantage of observing casual behavior... I'm curious.

    Vaughn : Help me... and I'll tell you what you want to know.

  • Weiss : Jack is going to shoot you in the face.

    Vaughn : Just give me a half-hour head start. Tell him that she called your phone and you gave it to me. We only have ten hours to find Kaplan.

    Weiss : If we end up sharing a cell in federal prison, I'm not giving you a drawer.

  • Sydney : Those men died for no reason.

    Vaughn : No. Those men died for their country.

  • Sydney : I'm gonna shoot you with adrenaline - we have got to run.

    Vaughn : No. Don't do that.

  • Vaughn : You're not the easiest guy to work with.

    Kendall : No. No, definitely not.

  • Vaughn : You're probably gonna say no to this, but I wanna go to India.

    Kendall : Go.

    Vaughn : "Go"? What... Are you trying to get rid of me?

  • [an alarm will go off in 15 seconds if set off] 

    Vaughn : So you said you could disarm it in under 20 seconds, how far under 20?

    Sydney : I work better under pressure.

  • C.I.A. Therapist Dr. Judy Barnett : Did you purchase a Christmas gift for Agent Bristow?

    Vaughn : Uh... I'm not familiar, Dr. Barnett, with the regulations preventing officers from celebrating with their co-workers, a fairly widely recognized holiday such as Christmas.

  • Vaughn : Noah Hicks - you mentioned him in the initial background report you wrote when you first made contact with the CIA.

    Sydney : We met when I was a trainee. We actually dated for a while.

    Vaughn : Really.

    Sydney : We kept it under the radar. SD-6 discourages, you know, fraternization among agents.

    Vaughn : So does the CIA.

  • Vaughn : If you betray her, no matter what it costs me, I will kill you.

    Sloane : No need to worry, I love her too.

  • Vaughn : Freeze! Give me the bomb. Give it to me.

    [Sark activates the explosive] 

    Sark : With pleasure.

  • Weiss : How are you doing?

    Vaughn : Fine.

    Weiss : Hey, guess what? It's me. Come on, how're you doing?

    Vaughn : I'm hanging in there.

    Weiss : How's Lauren about it?

    Vaughn : She didn't remember.

    Weiss : And, you didn't say anything?

    Vaughn : No. I mean, she's got a lot on her mind.

    Weiss : Yeah, that's probably it.

  • Sydney : Amazing idea.

    Vaughn : Thank you. I know.

  • Vaughn : Respectfully Syd, I don't think your father can think clearly where your mother is concerned.

    Sydney : And you can?

    Vaughn : I'm trying and she has nothing to gain by lying.

  • Vaughn : Hey, what did you say before about Haladki?

    Weiss : I don't think he showers?

  • Lauren : Michael, what are you doing?

    [Vaughn looks at her phone] 

    Vaughn : Sometimes I hate my job.

    Lauren : Baby, what's going on?

    Vaughn : You know how doctors always make you wait?

    Lauren : What?

    Vaughn : When you go in for an appointment. My dad hated that. He used to say he'd always kept his appointments, and everyone else should do the same.

    Lauren : You okay?

    Vaughn : Yeah. I just... I was looking for my house keys and I found this.

    [shows her the watch] 

    Lauren : Why? Were you looking for your house keys?

    Vaughn : I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd go for a jog.

    Lauren : What time is it?

    Vaughn : I dunno. It's broken.

    Lauren : Are you sure you're all right?

    Vaughn : Yeah, I'm fine.

    [they kiss] 

    Vaughn : I'll see you later.

  • Vaughn : My wife betrayed me! She betrayed all of us! You can't expect me to pretend that never happened.

    Jack : I'm not sure you have a choice.

    Vaughn : And why's that?

    Jack : Because you're the one that married her.

See also

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