MADtv (TV Series 1995–2016) Poster


Alex Borstein: Various, Ms. Swan, Sue Napersville, Miss Swan, Patsy Ramsey, Björk, Bunny Swan, Charlotte York, Chelsea Clinton, Eracist Player Anne...



  • Ms. Swan : He look-a like-a man.

  • Salesman : [to female co-worker]  Haha, take it like a man.

    Ms. Swan : [to same woman]  Yeah, you look like you take it like a man.

  • DMV Worker : Now turn and face the camera.

    Ms. Swan : Live from New York...

    DMV Worker : No! That's the wrong show.

  • Police Officer : Was he a black man or a white man?

    Ms. Swan : You know... black-a like you, black-a like me.

  • Ms. Swan : Yeah, okay, I tell you everything.

  • Mrs. Campbell : That is so awful for your father to be dying of cancer. It's just horrible. Now... can I ask you a question? Was he a smoker?

    Daughter : Um, yes. Yes, he was.

    Mrs. Campbell : Well then I just don't understand how he could be surprised. I mean it says it right there on the side of the box, doesn't it? "Smoking Causes Cancer." I know 'cause I've seen it on there. Now... can I ask you a question? Can your father read?

    Daughter : Of course he can read!

    Mrs. Campbell : Well, I just thought maybe he was illiterate and that was why he was surprised when he got cancer. Because it does say right there on the box...

  • Ms. Swan : [everyone dances to Dancing Queen, and everything freezes]  What the hell?

  • Stuart Larkin : Where's Mr. Pip's goo-goo?

    Various : His what?

    Stuart Larkin : His goo-goo. His goo-goo's not there.

    Various : I'm sorry, I don't understand...

    Doreen Larkin : Well, he's talking about his goo-goo, his ding-a-ling, duh!

See also

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