What About Bob? (1991) Poster

Richard Dreyfuss: Dr. Leo Marvin



  • Dr. Leo Marvin : I want some peace and quiet!

    Bob Wiley : Well, I'll be quiet.

    Siggy : I'll be peace!

    [Bob and Siggy burst into giggles] 

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : Are you married?

    Bob Wiley : I'm divorced.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Would you like to talk about that?

    Bob Wiley : There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : [pause]  I see. So, what you're saying is that even though you are an almost-paralyzed, multiphobic personality who is in a constant state of panic, your wife did not leave you, you left her because she... liked Neil Diamond?

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : You think he's gone? He's not gone. That's the whole point! He's never gone!

    [Leo opens the door; there's Bob] 

    Bob Wiley : Is this some radical new therapy?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : YOU SEE?

  • [Leo has a rifle pointed at Bob] 

    Bob Wiley : What are we doing?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Death Therapy, Bob. It's a guaranteed cure.

  • Bob Wiley : You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : It's exceptionally rare.

    Bob Wiley : Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead, BITCH!

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Why exactly are you doing this?

    Bob Wiley : If I fake it, then I don't have it.

  • [Leo is strapping a bomb to Bob] 

    Dr. Leo Marvin : This is black powder, Bob. One teaspoon of this stuff can blow up a tree stump. There we go!

    Bob Wiley : And, how much is this?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Twenty pounds worth.

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : Why are you always wearing black? What is it with you and this death fixation?

    Siggy : Maybe I'm in mourning for my lost childhood.

  • Bob Wiley : Isn't this a breakthrough, that I'm a sailor? I sail? I sail now?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Keep sailing, Bob!

  • Dr. Catherine Tomsky : If you want to be rid of him, just tell him you won't treat him anymore.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Catherine, that's easy for you to say. The man is, is like, like human Krazy Glue!

    Dr. Catherine Tomsky : You should never have let him sleep in your pajamas, Leo.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : I can't believe that I'm hearing this!

    Dr. Catherine Tomsky : Relax, Leo.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : I'm relaxed!

    Dr. Catherine Tomsky : Take a vacation.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : I'M ON VACATION!

    Dr. Catherine Tomsky : Maybe you should check in here for a few days. Get a handle on things!

  • Bob Wiley : [riding in Leo's car, speaking as Leo drives]  It was an interesting morning, fruitful. But it lacked the intensity that you and I generate together, the sparks that we get one-on-one. We just gotta figure out a way to work around your schedule. Could we work afternoons? Two to four? Three to five? Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : AHHHHHH!

    [slams the brakes, gets out of the car, walks around, and opens Bob's door] 

    Bob Wiley : Are you saying you'd rather work mornings?

    Dr. Leo Marvin : [nearly incomprehensible]  GET OUTTA THE CAR!

  • Bob Wiley : Goodbye, rat-dick suck-nut!

    Siggy : [upstairs]  Bye, dog-pissing-barf!

    Dr. Leo Marvin : [screams from the bottom of the stairs]  Sigmund!

    Bob Wiley : Later, testicle-head bosom-beaver!

    [looks out the window] 

    Bob Wiley : Good Morning America's here!

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : [Hangs up phone]  That patient, the one who called before, he committed suicide.

    Fay Marvin : Oh, Leo, how horrible.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Oh well, let's not let it spoil our vacation.

  • Bob Wiley : Well, I get dizzy spells, nausea, cold sweats, hot sweats, fever blisters, difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, blurred vision, involuntary trembling, dead hands, numb lips, fingernail sensitivity, pelvic discomfort.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : So the real question is, what is the crisis Bob? What is it you're truly afraid of?

    Bob Wiley : What if my heart stops beating? What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find it, and... my bladder explodes?

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : You understand, don't you? There's no other solution. You won't go away.

    Bob Wiley : I will.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : No, you won't. You're just *saying* you will! But then, after I don't kill you, you'll show up again. And you'll do something else to make everyone in my life think you are wonderful and I'm a schmuck. But I'm not a schmuck, Bob, and I'm not going to let you breeze into town and take my family away from me, just because you're crazy enough to be *fun*.

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : On Wednesday we'll eat Gil... on Thursday we'll eat Bob! Ha ha ha, no no no, that's going too far.

  • [Leo is splattered with mud by a passing car] 

    Dr. Leo Marvin : Oh, damn... Son-of-a-bitch-and-BOB!

  • Dr. Leo Marvin : You do understand, Bob, don't you? There's no other solution. You won't go away.

    Bob Wiley : Oh, yes I will.

  • [Last Lines] 

    Minister : Bob Wiley, would you have Lily Marvin to be your beloved wedded wife, to cherish and love till death do you part?

    Bob Wiley : I do.

    Minister : Lily Marvin, would you have Bob Wiley to be your beloved wedded husband, to cherish and love till death do you part?

    Lily Marvin : [smiling]  I do.

    [Bob heaves a sigh of relief. Bob and Lily smile at one another] 

    Minister : If anyone wishes to express why these two shouldn't join together in matrimony... speak now, or forever hold your peace.

    [the catatonic Leo jiggles his head and makes throaty sounds. No one notices, even Bob, who is looking around] 

    Minister : Then, By the power invested in me and the state of New York. I pronounce you, man and wife.

    Dr. Leo Marvin : [suddenly stands up and shouts]  NO!

    Siggy : [excitedly shouts]  Dad's back!

    Anna Marvin : Daddy!

    Lily Marvin : Leo!

    Lily Marvin : [rushing over]  Leo!

    [the family surrounds the recovered Leo as everyone applauds] 

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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