America 3000 (1986) Poster

(1986)

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8/10
Reagan-Era postapocalyptic big-hair misfeminist gem
blackfordlaw18 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This is perhaps my favorite bad movie of all time. Taste is out the window as rival tribes of overcoiffed women vie for the title of "Tiara." Men have been relegated to a few carefully restricted roles, like "seeder," and everyone speaks a highly idiomatic -- nay idiotic -- dialect. In this dialect, something that is really good is said to be "hot plastic" and all agreements are sealed by intoning "solemn swear." But one day a bright -- or rather, brighter -- male breaks out of his role and tries to become something more. Havoc ensues, language is mangled, "hot rocks" are hurled, and more need not be said. I just wish someone would release it on DVD. Take a chance -- this one is out there. Way out.
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8/10
Terrific
dispet3 June 2004
this film works for me. i know it wont work for everybody, but it is worth a go, and it probably is more enjoyable if you've had a couple of drinks and are in a forgiving mood. this film works for me because it is made with verve, everybody (for better or for worse) appears to have really thrown themselves into this film, and they understand that this is not brain surgery, nor is it gone with the wind. there is barely any plot, but they do not allow this to make the film slow, it moves along and its own good pace until it reaches a totally pointless climax which matches up with the rest of the film and thus completes it. it isnt really a laugh out loud film, more like 80 minutes of smirking. right up there with conan for the top silly loin cloth films.
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8/10
Offbeat post-nuke sci-fi comedy oddity
Woodyanders14 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
2890. In the wake of a nuclear apocalypse, beautiful Amazon warrior women rule the world and enslave men in their labor and breeding camps. Writer/director David Engelbach has a lot of lovably goofy fun with the amusing battle of the sexes premise, largely eschews action in favor of flaky humor, and presents the desolate post-nuke world in an imaginative and entertaining manner (the oddball slang in particular rates as a real nice touch). The sincere acting by the earnest cast helps a great deal: Chuck Wagner as the amiable Korvis, Laurene Landon as the fiery, yet soft Vena, William Wallace as the rugged Gruss, Sue Giosa as the conniving Mortha, Victoria Barrett as the jealous Lakella, Galyn Gorg as Vena's loyal gal pal Lynka, and Shaike Ophir as the timid Lelz. Carmilla Spav appears briefly as ill-fated warrior woman leader Reya. Steve Malovic provides some of the best and biggest belly laughs as smelly and unruly hulking hirsute mutant Aargh the Awful. David Gurfinkel's plain cinematography gives the picture an appropriately stark look. Tong Berg's groovy rocking score does the head-banging trick. An enjoyable curio.
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7/10
Priceless.
Hey_Sweden17 August 2013
This totally wacky post-apocalypse comedy lets the viewer know right away NOT to take it seriously, and it provides a lot of good-natured humour in what is basically a tale of war between the sexes. Feisty Amazonian babes rule the planet in the 31st century, keeping some men as slaves and others as "seeders", or sperm donors. One of the men is Korvis (studly Chuck Wagner), who stumbles onto some pretty big discoveries when he finds an underground bunker. He encourages his male buddies, including Gruss (William Wallace) to think differently about the roles played by men and women. He also finds out how much fun it is to play prez-ee-dent.

The nutty dialogue is often hysterical; after a while you do pick up what certain words and phrases mean. This dialogue is delivered with the utmost sincerity by a great looking cast of guys and gals. The movie was filmed on location in Israel by those always reliable folk at the Cannon Group. It does lose its momentum, but regains it for an action packed finale. The actors and actresses are dressed sexily but never reveal anything, nor is the violence ever overly bloody. (This *is* rated PG-13.) Writer / director David Engelbach (who'd penned "Death Wish II" a few years previous) is having fun here, and that feeling is infectious. Some of the biggest laughs are delivered by a shaggy Bigfoot like character named Aargh the Awful (played by Steve Malovic); the final freeze frame involves Aargh and it's a howler.

The audience may find themselves in tears, or rolling their eyes, at the abundance of silliness here. It's very much the kind of thing you'd watch with beers and friends. It's also well worth watching for any Laurene Landon fan, as she looks absolutely fantastic as always. Also supplying eye candy are Galyn Gorg ("RoboCop 2") as Lynka and Camilla Sparv ("Downhill Racer") as Reya. Shaike Ophir is endearing as put upon character Lelz.

Accompanied by a quite appropriate cheese ball rock music score by Tony Berg, and effectively lit and photographed by David Gurfinkel, "America 3000" is overall just too hard to resist. It may not be "quality" stuff, but it sure as hell is entertaining.

Seven out of 10.
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8/10
In The Future Women have Big Sexy Feminine Hair
Art-johnson-121 January 2019
But it kinda looks like the 80s! LOL

I am a man so I am visual and probably reacting to thin hard bodies - fair enough - but i did watch the whole dystopian tale of matriarchy. It could have done without the stupid voice-over-narration though.

Pretty chicks rule!
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5/10
Surprise
CyberShaggy20 August 2009
This movie is so cheesy that for a very B Grade Post Apocalyptic movie it is actually worth watching. Just grab the pop corn, put the brain in neutral, press play and watch.

You'll have to see past the low budget props, I think they borrowed a lot from the set of Planet of the Apes, and maybe 1,000,000 years BC, and some of the computers are very 1980's, but then Star Trek the original series was supposed to be 22nd century, these computers blow those away.

And women in skimpy costumes made from animal skin always make a movie worth watching for guys. The dialog leaves a lot to be desired, but like I said, just put the brain in neutral and be entertained.
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Great post-apocalyptic shenanigans!
Chuckles-127 March 2002
America 3000 is quite possibly the pinnacle of achievement in the post-apocalyptic genre. Yeah, right.

But, it's a silly film from a silly genre, so we can't be judgemental now, can we?

I especially liked the writers/producers/whoever the hell dreamed up the lousy script's attempts at futuristic 'slang' with words like "Nagy" and "Cold/Hard" meaning strange things.

See this movie. You will laugh.

And be sure to respect the "Prez-ee-dent", kids.
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7/10
Hilarious!
I won't write again what has been written by other reviewers, other than this is a very silly film, stuck somewhere between the uninentionally bad and the tongue in cheek. Every time I saw the radioactive mutant (a small-scale bigfoot that seemingly loves 80s rock music) I laughed my head off, and generally struggled to keep my face straight for an hour and a half. The acting, costumes, make-up, music contribute, to various extents, to the high level of silliness throughout the film. This is well-worth watching after a few drinks/jays. For those who like this, check out The Ice Pirates or Hell Comes to Frogtown. Both are in a similar vein, but not as as bad as America 3000.
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10/10
Loved This Movie
ShellyM23 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I first saw this movie in the late 80's and I loved it. It was different from the usual post-nuke movies of the era, because it was an action comedy/adventure, rather than the dark, dystopian offerings such as Stryker, Endgame, etc etc. It occured to me, that given current world events, it's a juxtaposition of The Handmaid's Tale, when men are subjugated by women and are used as labourer, kept as pets and 'seeders' Note: Lynka, the Tiara's bestie wasn't enjoying the act

The film takes place some 900 years after the 'Great Nuke', and everything was peachy keen for the women until one fateful day, a male child was born, and things went pear shaped from there. I loved the women's empowerment theme in this movie. Their slang was hilarious. I liked the characters too. Korvis and Veena, make a lovely couple, don't you think?

A bloody great movie!
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5/10
A fairly intelligent stupid movie.
gridoon24 January 2003
I don't know exactly what to make of this. It's pretty obvious that you're not supposed to take it seriously, yet for a comedy it has far too much mayhem and not enough laughs. It's all quite stupid, really, and you might be tempted to shut it off even before the opening credits have finished rolling. But it has at least one charming sequence (when the female leader discovers for the first time what a "man" is), and some of the final scenes, showing the aftermath of a devastating battle, with fields littered with corpses, have a surprising impact. Be warned, however, that the movie DOES feature a shaggy mutant called "Aargh The Awful"! (**)
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5/10
dumb and silly - I almost loved it
Metal-930 December 1999
This movie really is dumb and silly but i still enyojed it. The story about the women taking over the power after the third world war is rather awful. The names on all the charachters are really laughable. For example Korvis. Korvis in my language (swedish) mean that a person looks like a sausage. Korvis is not like a ordinary american name too I guess. One strange is that all women in the movie looks like models except for one old woman. At the end of the movie their are a great battle between the frollos (women) and the plugarts (men). You see both a lot of women and men die and beaten up. From the beginning there was ecually many women as men but in the end it remains five men but around 20-30 women, strange. I gave the movie a 5 out of 10 because it's really dumb and silly but at the same time really good because of its cheesyiness. If you like silly movie go rent this one - we did.
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Review by actor in the film
darthdevo200026 February 2004
While America 3000 MAY be one of the ALLTIME grade-Z movies, a great deal of comments made by the other person to review this film are wrong. First off, the hairstyles. Since the film takes place 900 years AFTER World War III, and in the radioactive wild of Colorado, how could anybody be "suffering from "bad '80's style haircuts?" Moron. The hair is typical of a bunch of people stuck in the wild, with the intelligence of a lower primate with no vanity. Just wild, unkenmpt hair. Specifically, mine. I played Young Korvis, (the good looking one.) The film is narrated by Mr. William Wallace, who plays my grown up sidekick, Gruss. It could have been worse. Chuck Wagner of TV's "AutoMan" (who's a GREAT guy, if you ever get a chance to meet him) could've narrated, which would have been a mistake. While he has physical presence, vocally, he may be lacking. And this is odd, considering the amount of stage he's done before and since this film. Compared to the last Mad Max film, this movie is downright inspirational, even if filmed on a 3 million dollar budget. The Director (David Englebach) went on to develop "Over the Top" with Sly Stallone. Yeah, I barfed too, but it wasn't half bad. Last comment (since this is hardly a review, but more of a defense of a terrible flick..) This movie never made it to MST3K....I checked. What am I doing now? I shoot music videos for up and coming rock bands. If you're in the Los Angeles Area Friday, march 5 2004, come to Johnny Foxx's, and see Flying Venus, the hottest group from Northern California destined to become the next big thing. That's what us grade Z actors are doing now. And the winner is.............
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3/10
Crappy beyond words.....
Space_Lord15 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Hi folks! This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I like bad movies!! It's just that in this one there is less of the 'funny' bad and more of the 'bad' bad! I struggle to comprehend how movies like this get made. Who pays for this crap to get produced and thinks they will make money? Anyway on to the film itself, which is set in a post - apocalyptic USA, where men and women live a separate warring tribes. The women initially have the upper hand, keeping men as slaves for various functions: Machos - manual labour, Toys - uhhhh, toys, and Seeders (where the guy dresses up in a burqa and 'seeds' a tied up woman for the purposes of reproduction. Ooohhh, kinky!) The square jawed, blonde haired leader of the men (Chuck Wagner - AUTOMAN!!! How cool was that show?) stumbles across a secret that could turn the tide in the men's favour, or unite them with the women.

Corny sequences that I enjoyed in this film: The leader riding out dressed in his sparkly gold radiation suit (What???) blaring cheesy hair band metal from his 900 year old boom box. Weird! The leader of the men and the women's tiara (queen) 'rediscovering' sexual intercourse, breathing and fumbling over each other.

Some great dialogue: When the leader discovers the bunker and receives a message intended for the president, the message states: "No one asked for this war, but GODDAMN it Mr President, we've won it! Caught the GODDAMN Russkies with their pants down!!!" When he is showing the women's leader around and she reaches for the control panel, he says in a cheesy tone: "Careful!! Don't wanna nuke the world!" Apart from these brief and all too infrequent 'highlights', the rest of the film is an absolute writeoff, crappy and boring beyond belief.
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1/10
Future disaster in the past...
quamp13 November 2000
This movie was dumb, banal, and trite. That's about the best things I can say about it. The whole plot revolves around life after a nuclear war in which the men fight the women. The narrator is annoying, and everyone has those awful mid-1980's haircuts. Another bad call: one scene features a sign which reads "The Rolling Stones Farewell tour 1989." Legend has it that this movie was going to be in season 11 of MST3K. Even if that's not true, it should have been.
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1/10
As bad as nobody could imagin
anderst223 February 2002
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is terrible, you can't even compare this with a Ed Wood movie, because Ed Wood didn't have money, this did, and Ed Wood didn't know what he was doing, Here they think they know.

this might contain SPOILERS

This movie tries to be a big blockbuster, it looks like they were trying to make one, but with a cast as terrible as this, nothing can get right. All the women looks like they're from playboy, with tons of hairspray and makeup, and acting like s***, the men ain't any better. But as you watch the movie you can see the movie trying to get better, the makers trow in a (clearly a Chewbacca ripoff) troll like character, and you'll laugh your ass off.

This movie ripsoff "Planet of the Apes" (1968) big time, exspecially with the nuclear sone, and finding thing from the past. Everything you see in here is made with the best intentions, but without talent.

The terrible editing of the picture makes the action scenes look stupid, at the end battle, look for the guy who is going to jump on a female rider, the horse is miles away before he jumps, and suddenly he hits her.

I give this as a movie 1/10, but you'll laugh all the time, and as a turky this is a 10/10. This is so bad it don't qualify for the Razzie Awards.
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5/10
THE WORLD WAS WOGGOS
nogodnomasters14 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This is a bad film whose appeal is to be campy and cheesy. It is available on DVD multi-packs with similar style of films. The US is divided into male and female factions. Women take men prisoner and use them as slaves and as "breeders" while men haven't mastered taking women prisoner. Vena (Laurene Landon) is the ruler of the Frisco group near Denver, where the guys hang out at Camp Reagan. A ruler from Kansas is in town to make trouble for Vena. Eventually we have our abbreviated "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" scene, which was perhaps the highlight of the film as a boom box with 900 year old batteries still works. Eat your heart out SLEEPER.

Guide: use of effin' for a swear word. brie heavily clothed sex. No nudity. Women still with big hair 80's hair. Some things just never go out of style.
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5/10
It's an oldie
WWmoviejunkie24 November 2018
Saw this film on a vhs tape a loong time back . I would've given it 10 stars then , since it was a mega hit with me ( as a 7 year old )
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1/10
Bad enough that I watched the whole thing
Carol_in_Chicago18 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Awful - but fun. I am still chuckling. The boom box that (a) still had working batteries, and (b) had a radio signal to receive after 900 years, was priceless. I remind you all that makeup, shampoo, and high heels seem to have survived almost every Sci-Fi disaster ever filmed. This phenomenon is not unique to the worst of the worst.

In fact, it seems to me that the creators intentionally harvested the most obvious dystopian film clichés, and then pushed each of them to their most absurd extreme. It's the future. Our leaders were short-sighted and disaster ensued. Mankind manages to survive and restart its social evolution, but blunders. A hero emerges with vision and corrects the blunder. I could probably use this film as an outline for my first SF novel if I wanted to.
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3/10
Feminist Fantasy
cat-844748 January 2020
I was in this movie. Can't say this one is an intellectual challenge, but it was fun to do. It's a bit silly, with bad acting, but those girls go! I think this movie must have been a tax shelter for a relative of the producers.

It is fun, on several levels, and speaks to the excesses of the 80's.
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5/10
Silly 80's post-apocalypse movie.
Java_Joe8 June 2019
This movie was cold woggos negi hot plastic. A seeder plugot escapes from a group of thralls and leads a rebellion. Of course that doesn't mean anything to somebody that hasn't seen the movie because they attempted to create their own kind of slang like Anthony Burgess did in "A Clockwork Orange". Except here, they just kinda replaced a couple words and made you figure it out later.

For the uninitiated "woggos" means crazy. Negi means no or not or something along those lines. Hot plastic is good. A plugot is a man. A thrall is a woman. And a seeder is a man who's only job is to mate with the women all of whom still have big 80's type hair. So we know that at least in the future after the nuclear apocalypse hairspray and styling gel will still be around.

The movie itself is rather silly in a B-movie kind of way but it doesn't bring much of anything new to this genre.
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1/10
If this is the future, I'm gonna live in the past.
icehole431 December 1999
This movie is just plain pitiful. The people in it are all trying to do stuff that just doesn't work. After a nuclear war, men and women fight each other. Supposedly this has gone on for several hundred years. That in and of itself doesn't make sense.

Avoid this film. It's the kind of film that would appear on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
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1/10
Poor horses
jkspawspa12 August 2019
This was so bad, I almost couldn't turn away. There is no acting or lines. The horses are abused and made to fall over and over. Surprised this didn't get shut down by animal rights activists.
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1/10
Big Hair, Angry Women Warriors, Hapless Men, Bigfoot
bermuda-123322 February 2019
Objectionable to just two groups of possible viewers: "women" and "men". The entire (very low) budget was obviously spent on several pallets of Aqua Net hairspray. The entire movie could have been filmed in your backyard and basement (no, really -- try it). The annoying and unnecessary "future dialog" makes you look forward to more modern exposition -- until that in fact shows up in the form of high school quality narration.

The random placement of the "Rolling Stones Farewell Tour 1989" banner (in a 1986 film) must have seemed like a hoot at the time. Little did they know that the future held continuous farewell tours 30 years into the real future. A "Rolling Stones Farewell Tour 2019" would have been funnier (and we are still counting).

The best part is the final freeze frame, anticipating the iconic "Say Anything" meme by three years. The meme is "one of the most culturally recognizable scenes in American movie history" and you saw it here first.
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It's so bad, it's good.
midev1 March 2012
I just love watching silly movies like this. It is set in the future but is in the past in two ways. Firstly, as they are living a very basic life and when they do discover newer technology, it's 1980's technology. I wonder how these people were born since there is no interaction between males and females. I like the costumes and the silly expressions like "going cold" if someone is dying. I don't quite know where the ape man fits into all of this but I guess he is just comic relief (As if a movie like this needs any). I didn't see how they got the food and water they needed. They didn't live in a very fertile land area. I noticed that the leader of the men could read, again I wonder how he learned to do that. There are so many questions but it was all good fun.
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1/10
awful
eumel-12325 March 2008
!!!Warning: Consumption of the whole film will be deadly: Warning!!! Please, don't recognize more than a few minutes of this celluloid. !!!Warning: Consumption of the whole film will be deadly: Warning!!! This means only, that your brain will hurt. !!!Warning: Consumption of the whole film will be deadly: Warning!!! But more than a few minutes is equally to listen to a vogon's poem. !!!Warning: Consumption of the whole film will be deadly: Warning!!! So beware of too much consumption. !!!Warning: Consumption of the whole film will be deadly: Warning!!! It could be deadly. !!!Warning: Consumption of the whole film will be deadly: Warning!!!
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