[MacGyver's answering machine message]
MacGyver: Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it.
MacGyver: A paperclip can be a wondrous thing. More times than I can remember, one of these has gotten me out of a tight spot.
[Murdoc is pretending to be MacGyver]
Murdoc: I could fix this if I just had some duct tape.
Pete: His name is MacGyver. He can fix anything. He could fix a computer with a hairpin and a piece of duct tape.
Pete: Mac, whatever you do...
MacGyver: I know, I know, Pete, stay out of trouble, keep the expenses down and don't get killed.
Pete: Took the words right out of my mouth.
Murdoc: [before he allegedly dies, shouts] MacGyver!
MacGyver: I'm not gonna take it in the back, and I'm not gonna take it laying down, so you're just gonna have to shoot me face to face. I can't believe I said that...
Pete: Jack, having you as a friend is a little bit like owning a pet disease.
MacGyver: For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up... and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape.
MacGyver: Old Minnesota wisdom - if you don't wanna be touched, look downright untouchable.
MacGyver: You guys are missing out on a good deal if you kill me. See, I'm kind of an expert with just about everything.
MacGyver: Egg whites are good for a lot of things - lemon meringue pie, angel food cake, and clogging up radiators.
Pete: Yeah, sure. You come up with the brains and I provide the paychecks.
Pete: Remember what I said about being friends? That still goes. Friends stand by each other, through everything. I'm your friend.
MacGyver: Well, when it comes down to me against a situation, I don't like the situation to win.
MacGyver: When James Bond gets an assignment, he probably ends up on the Riviera, up to his 007's in bikinis. Me? I end up 80 miles past nowhere.
MacGyver: [Pete has just knocked out someone about to kill MacGyver] What took you so long?
Pete: Well... I wanted to see who was gonna win.
MacGyver: You can do anything you want to do, if you put your mind to it.
Pete: I know that look - I've never been able to figure out how your mind works, but I know when it works.
MacGyver: [Pete walks in] Hi Pete, office hours are over... Loosen your tie and have some yogurt.
[MacGyver is waving a large, black plastic spider at Pete Thornton]
MacGyver: Pete, you have no taste.
[grumbling to himself under his breath]
MacGyver: Ah, man.
Pete: [Pete and Mac have been kidnapped by a "woman"] That lady is a top-level, world-class assassin named Murdoc.