Ray Walston: Poopdeck Pappy
Poopdeck Pappy : [about children] Bless their little hears, if they was made out of gold, I'd like to sell 'em on the open market. I could make me a fortune. Kids! Eh, they don't what they're doing. Kids, dadblast 'em! They're gonna lead you to ruin. That's what they're gonna do, lead you to ruin. They cry at you when they're young, they yell at you when they're older, they borrows from you when they's middle-aged and they leave you alone to die. Without even paying you back! Children, phooey. You give them everything they want, and what do you get back in return? You get nothing! Why they're just smaller versions of us you know, but I'm not so crazy about me in the first place, so why would I want one of them? I'm asking ya. Children. Ah, children. Little children. You'll pour your heart to them, you give them everything they want. Give them candy and a lot of toys, and what do you get in return? You get a lot of noise: "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, my poppa's a mean old man!" I'm through with children, I'm through with kids. They ain't nothing I'm never gonna do about it.
Popeye : I'm your one and only exspring. See, we got the same bulgy arms.
Poopdeck Pappy : No resemblance.
Popeye : We-we got the same squinky eye.
Poopdeck Pappy : What squinky eye?
Popeye : That's going to be hard for you to see. Oh, we even got the same pipe, Pap.
Poopdeck Pappy : You idiot, you can't inherit a pipe! Ooh, I am poppa to no male, nor no female child. That no court could prove otherwise.
Poopdeck Pappy : [to Popeye] I hates sentiment. I is disgustipated.
Poopdeck Pappy : Eat that spinach.
Popeye : I don't wanna eat that spinach.
Poopdeck Pappy : Eat that spinach, you brat!
Popeye : I don't wanna eat that spinach!
Poopdeck Pappy : Uuuuuggggghhh!
Popeye : I don't wanna eat that spinach! I don't wanna! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Poopdeck Pappy : You eat that spinach!
Popeye : Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Poopdeck Pappy : You disobedient brat!
Popeye : Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Poopdeck Pappy : You was disobedient when you was two, and you're still disobedient now!
Poopdeck Pappy : His mother ups and dies, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
Popeye : She choked on it, pop.
Poopdeck Pappy : His poppa out of work, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
Popeye : It wasn't my fault.
Poopdeck Pappy : The whole country in a depressigan. Oooooohhhh, and he wouldn't eat is spinach.
Popeye : That was Coolidge, Poppa.
Poopdeck Pappy : His poppa going hungry. Going off to steal. Stealing what?
Poopdeck Pappy : So his ungrate son could grow up big and strong.
[Popeye throws the spinach behind his back]
Poopdeck Pappy : You know what I done? You know what I done when the G Man catched me and thrung me in jail?
Popeye : No.
Poopdeck Pappy : Hmm? I laughed.
Popeye : Yeah. You laughed?
Poopdeck Pappy : I laughed a whole year. Ha ha ha.
Poopdeck Pappy : [to Swee'Pea] Eat your spinach, you no good infink. Eat it. EAT IT. EAT IT!
Poopdeck Pappy : [to Popeye] Stand to, you scuab! You're castin' shadows on Poopdeck Pappy. Pride of the Pacifiary! Father to the shark. Brodder to the parinica. Cousin to the killer whale. And uncle to the octopussy!
Poopdeck Pappy : [to Popeye] I never seen anything like this before in me life, talking to your poor old father like that, you disobedient brat. You're spoiled. That's what you are, spoiled.
Poopdeck Pappy : Cut me down. Cut me down.
Popeye : [Grabbing a knife] Cut ya down, cut ya down.
Poopdeck Pappy : Cut me down.
[Popeye does. Pappy lands flat on his face and breaking the chair]
Poopdeck Pappy : Ugh, you idiot.
Popeye : You said cut you down.
Poopdeck Pappy : I didn't say *cut* me down. I said *get* me down, *get* me down. And don't you ever pick up another knife, if you do, I'll make you eat it. You'll be known as the Sword Swallowin' Sailor.
Poopdeck Pappy : [to Bluto] Don't talks to me about the future. I hates the future, and I hates the past, and I hates the present. Especially you.
Poopdeck Pappy : Don't dare'st say I ain't fair. True I hates... but I come by me hatin' fair... and square. Hatin's me code. I will live and die by hate. Hate's done me more good than anything in the world.
Poopdeck Pappy : It is an octopussy!
Poopdeck Pappy : Haul ass! Haul ass! I gotta get that treasure! Now, where is it? Where is it?
Poopdeck Pappy : [to Geezil and Wimpy] You there! You with that crazy beard! Get that fat guy up here!