I Spy (1965–1968)
Bill Cosby: Alexander Scott
[Commentary on Kelly's receiving a blown kiss.]
Alexander Scott : The wonderfulness of your charm.
Alexander Scott : Well you have to get beat up every once in a while otherwise you go soft, right Kel?
[Contemplating a solid gold stove]
Kelly Robinson : I can just imagine the look on their faces when we unload a million dollars worth of stove on them. 875 pounds worth.
Alexander Scott : Yeah.
Kelly Robinson : Suppose by the time it got to Internal Revenue it only weighed 800 pounds?
Alexander Scott : See what you mean. Well the lid's loose, maybe the damper door?
Kelly Robinson : 75 lbs of gold must be worth a lot of money.
Alexander Scott : Seventy-two thousand.
Kelly Robinson : Already figured it out, huh?
Alexander Scott : Yeah. $60 an ounce on the Chinese black market. I think I can get $70 an ounce. I know a guy...
Kelly Robinson : $70 an ounce! Whew. A couple of one-way tickets to Tahiti would scarcely put a dent in it!
Alexander Scott : No sir. Have you ever seen a Taihitian hula?
Alexander Scott : Do-dump-de-dumpdy... You take the door and I'll take the lid.
Kelly Robinson : While we're at it we may want to hack off a couple of legs. We may want to entertain!
Alexander Scott : Right!
Kelly Robinson : No, we'd only lose our pension benefits.
Alexander Scott : Think we'd lose our jobs?
Kelly Robinson : Yeah. Such wonderful jobs too.
Alexander Scott : And the hospitalization is free.
Kelly Robinson : All those wonderful orthopedic devices.
Alexander Scott : I just love plaster of paris.
Kelly Robinson : Right.
Alexander Scott : Hey, what're you doing?
Kelly Robinson : I've come to save you.
Alexander Scott : You can't, man, I've got a boat coming, now get outa here!
Kelly Robinson : But I've come to rescue you.
Alexander Scott : You CAN'T rescue me NOW.
Kelly Robinson : How come you always embarrass me when I'm rescuing you.
Alexander Scott : I enjoy being made a fool of when I'm pleading for my country. It gives me a warm glow all over.