The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961–1966)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie, Hezekiah Petrie
Rob Petrie : [Sally, Buddy, Rob and Laura are staying in a haunted cabin, all four are in the same bed because they are scared of the ghost] It's been over two hours and nothing strange or unusual has happened.
Sally Rogers : Oh, really? What do you call four grown people sleeping in the same bed with their clothes on?
Rob Petrie : I want to take a nap before I go to sleep.
Rob Petrie : At least I'll prove one thing tonight: Television writers marry the prettiest girls.
Laura Petrie : Rob, Millie has something to tell you.
Rob Petrie : If it'll make me happy, tell me, but if it won't don't say it because I am on the brink!
Millie Helper : Oh, Rob, I'm so sorry and you never have to speak to me again!
[Starts to cry]
Rob Petrie : It's not gonna make me happy, is it?
Laura Petrie : Millie, in trying to help you, Rob, wrote fourteen letters praising the show, and Alan, and you.
Rob Petrie : And, uh, where are they now?
Laura Petrie : [Millie starts to cry] She mailed them.
Rob Petrie : [Starts laughing uncontrollably]
Laura Petrie : Rob? Are you alright?
Rob Petrie : I couldn't be worse!