The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series 1961–1966) Poster


Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie, Hezekiah Petrie



  • Rob Petrie : [Sally, Buddy, Rob and Laura are staying in a haunted cabin, all four are in the same bed because they are scared of the ghost]  It's been over two hours and nothing strange or unusual has happened.

    Sally Rogers : Oh, really? What do you call four grown people sleeping in the same bed with their clothes on?

  • Laura Petrie : You wanna end up another Dwight Heatherton, go ahead!

    Rob Petrie : Who's that?

    Laura Petrie : Dwight Heatheron happens to be an excellent writer who is unknown because he gets no publicity.

    Rob Petrie : Then how do you know him?

    Laura Petrie : Oh Rob, he's *famous*.

  • [Laura just admitted that she told a TV audience Alan Brady is bald] 

    Rob Petrie : Well did you know it was a secret?

    Laura Petrie : Yes.

    Rob Petrie : Oh sure, what's the fun of telling something if it's not a secret?

  • Sally Rogers : What's the matter Rob?

    Rob Petrie : Oh, he got on the elevator and I busted my leg on a lady.

  • Rob Petrie : I want to take a nap before I go to sleep.

  • Rob Petrie : At least I'll prove one thing tonight: Television writers marry the prettiest girls.

  • Laura Petrie : Rob, Millie has something to tell you.

    Rob Petrie : If it'll make me happy, tell me, but if it won't don't say it because I am on the brink!

    Millie Helper : Oh, Rob, I'm so sorry and you never have to speak to me again!

    [Starts to cry] 

    Rob Petrie : It's not gonna make me happy, is it?

  • Laura Petrie : Millie, in trying to help you, Rob, wrote fourteen letters praising the show, and Alan, and you.

    Rob Petrie : And, uh, where are they now?

    Laura Petrie : [Millie starts to cry]  She mailed them.

    Rob Petrie : [Starts laughing uncontrollably] 

    Laura Petrie : Rob? Are you alright?

    Rob Petrie : I couldn't be worse!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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